In ancient Greece, there are three definitions for the word Love:
Eros. Philia. Agape.
Philia: This word also means Love. But it's more of the intimate affection between personal friends. The people that you like. It's a reciprocal love. You love because you are loved. You love the people that you like. People that you like to sit down and eat dinner with. People that you like to call up and talk to. The one's you go out with. This is the love of friendship.
Agape: The most important of all the words of Love. Agape is more than romantic love. More than friendship. Agape is understanding, creating and redeeming goodwill towards all. It is the love of God operating in the heart. It is the overflowing love which seeks nothing in return. And when you rise to love on this level, you love people who don't move you. You love those who's ways are distasteful to you. You love everyone because that's the greatest love you can give. Not just to the world, but to yourself. This is the love that's unconditional.
With Valentine's Day here, not my favorite holiday but a holiday surrounding Love none the less, I thought it was fascinating coming across these different definitions of love. It's not that I am anti-Vday, I'm just not a fan of forced flower buying and over-booked dinner reservation making for a Tuesday night because your calender and the oversized giant lip balloons at your Fred Meyer checkout tells you so. It's far more fun when done on a spontaneous and unexpected whim.
The only time Valentine's Day seemed exciting was in grade school. It was the one day you could get away with totally flirting it up with your crush and let them know about that crush by carefully giving them the cutest card out of the box of 32ct. you would give out to your classmates. Not to mention the best box of conversation hearts that looked like they all still had the conversations printed clearly on them versus the half rubbed off ones.
I remember in 2nd grade, and please don't judge me for telling this true story, but it was Mrs. Harper's class. Everyone was making homemade Valentine's Day cards. Some were making them for their crushes and some were making them for family members. Except me. I didn't have anyone I wanted to make a homemade card for because I had bought the box of 32ct. from the grocery store. That was until I decided close to the end of homemade Vday card making that I had a crush on Toby. Oh those quick grade school crushes that would come and go so quickly. So in my desperate plea of crush confessing, I asked to "borrow" my classmate Dalina's Valentine's card where I quickly put a big X through Grandma and wrote Toby, and gave it to him. Yeah, I know, major low move. To this day I still put my hand to my head and shake it in disbelief because this is very much not the kind of person I am. But apparently that day and in that moment I was experiencing some kind of Eros love. Needless to say, Toby was a little weirded out with my Grandma-crossed-out-with-Toby-inserted Valentine's Day card, and Dalina went to Mrs. Harper and told on me. I had to make Dalina's Grandma a new card and my moment of Eros love went away.
Maybe this is also part of why Valentine's Day is just not my favorite, I had that one horrible experience in 2nd grade. Either way, for those who love Valentine's Day and have a "Toby" they have a crush on or have a Grandma they love making cards for, or you love the idea of a Noah and Allie like love that all of society secretly yearns for, I will celebrate love with you. It will just be the Agape kind. The unconditional kind that reaches out to everybody.
Happy day of Love.
