RE-IN-VENT

Love.

2012-02-14T01:44:00.000-08:00

In ancient Greece, there are three definitions for the word Love:

Eros. Philia. Agape.

Eros: The word means Love. But it means more of a romantic love. It's the kind of love that moves you. Whether it be the way they talk, their personality, physical beauty, or intellectual power, it's always based on that something that attracts you. This is the love of passion.

Philia: This word also means Love. But it's more of the intimate affection between personal friends. The people that you like. It's a reciprocal love. You love because you are loved. You love the people that you like. People that you like to sit down and eat dinner with. People that you like to call up and talk to. The one's you go out with. This is the love of friendship.

Agape: The most important of all the words of Love. Agape is more than romantic love. More than friendship. Agape is understanding, creating and redeeming goodwill towards all. It is the love of God operating in the heart. It is the overflowing love which seeks nothing in return. And when you rise to love on this level, you love people who don't move you. You love those who's ways are distasteful to you. You love everyone because that's the greatest love you can give. Not just to the world, but to yourself. This is the love that's unconditional.

With Valentine's Day here, not my favorite holiday but a holiday surrounding Love none the less, I thought it was fascinating coming across these different definitions of love. It's not that I am anti-Vday, I'm just not a fan of forced flower buying and over-booked dinner reservation making for a Tuesday night because your calender and the oversized giant lip balloons at your Fred Meyer checkout tells you so. It's far more fun when done on a spontaneous and unexpected whim.

The only time Valentine's Day seemed exciting was in grade school. It was the one day you could get away with totally flirting it up with your crush and let them know about that crush by carefully giving them the cutest card out of the box of 32ct. you would give out to your classmates. Not to mention the best box of conversation hearts that looked like they all still had the conversations printed clearly on them versus the half rubbed off ones.

I remember in 2nd grade, and please don't judge me for telling this true story, but it was Mrs. Harper's class. Everyone was making homemade Valentine's Day cards. Some were making them for their crushes and some were making them for family members. Except me. I didn't have anyone I wanted to make a homemade card for because I had bought the box of 32ct. from the grocery store. That was until I decided close to the end of homemade Vday card making that I had a crush on Toby. Oh those quick grade school crushes that would come and go so quickly. So in my desperate plea of crush confessing, I asked to "borrow" my classmate Dalina's Valentine's card where I quickly put a big X through Grandma and wrote Toby, and gave it to him. Yeah, I know, major low move. To this day I still put my hand to my head and shake it in disbelief because this is very much not the kind of person I am. But apparently that day and in that moment I was experiencing some kind of Eros love. Needless to say, Toby was a little weirded out with my Grandma-crossed-out-with-Toby-inserted Valentine's Day card, and Dalina went to Mrs. Harper and told on me. I had to make Dalina's Grandma a new card and my moment of Eros love went away.

Maybe this is also part of why Valentine's Day is just not my favorite, I had that one horrible experience in 2nd grade. Either way, for those who love Valentine's Day and have a "Toby" they have a crush on or have a Grandma they love making cards for, or you love the idea of a Noah and Allie like love that all of society secretly yearns for, I will celebrate love with you. It will just be the Agape kind. The unconditional kind that reaches out to everybody.

Happy day of Love.

Just Because.

2012-01-23T10:08:00.000-08:00

Because it's true.

Because it's the best place to operate from.

Because books are good for the soul.

And go ahead, judge a book by it's cover. Just this once.

Because it's cute.

Seriously?

Because we all would love to secretly believe in this.

Because there is something so sexy and alluring about the 20's.

Including the music of Mr. Armstrong himself.

Because it really is happiness in a cup.

Because this is genius. And funny.

Because laughter really is the best medicine.

And Because...

A Short Story. (well kind of)

2012-01-22T13:20:00.000-08:00

The Man Who Didn't Believe In Love

by Don Miguel Ruiz (from The Mastery of Love)

There was once a man who didn’t believe in love. This was an ordinary man just like you and me, but what made this man special was his way of thinking: He thought love didn't exist. Of course, he had a lot of experience trying to find love, and he observed the people around him. Much of his life had been spent searching for love, only to find that love didn’t exist.

Wherever this man went, he would tell people of his thoughts and opinions on love. This man was highly intelligent, and he was very convincing. What he said was that love is just like a drug; it makes you very high, but it creates a strong need. You can become highly addicted to love, but what happens when you don’t receive your daily doses of love? Just like a drug, you need your everyday doses.

He used to say that most relationships between lovers are just like a relationship between a drug addict and the one who provides the drugs. The one who has the biggest need is like the drug addict; the one who has a little need is like the provider. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn’t love as much. You can see the way they manipulate each other, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict.

The drug addict, the one who has the biggest need, lives in constant fear that perhaps he will not be able to get the next dosage of love, or the drug. The drug addict thinks, “What am I going to do if she leaves me?” That fear makes the drug addict very possessive. “That’s mine!” The addict becomes jealous and demanding, because the fear of not having the next dosage. The provider can control and manipulate the one who needs the drug by giving more doses, fewer doses, or no doses at all. The one who has the biggest need completely surrenders and will whatever he can to avoid being abandoned.

The man went on explain to everyone why love doesn’t exist, and how what humans call ‘love’ is nothing but a fear relationship based on control. So many promises are made to each other: to live together forever, to love and respect each other, through the good times and the bad times but after marriage, you can see that none of these promises are kept.

What you find is a war of control to see who will manipulate whom. Who will be the provider? And who will have the addiction. You find that a few months later, the respect that they swear to have for each other is gone. You can see the resentment, the emotional poison, how they hurt each other, little by little, and it grows and grows, until they don’t know when the love stopped. They stay together because they are afraid to be alone, afraid of the opinions and judgments of others, and also afraid of their judgments and opinions. But where is the love?

The man went on and on about all the reasons why he believed love doesn’t exist.

The one day this man was walking in a park, and there on a bench was a beautiful lady who was crying. When he saw her crying, felt curiosity. Sitting beside her, he asked if he could help her. He asked why she was crying. You can imagine his surprise when she told him she was crying because love doesn’t exist. “This is amazing—a woman who believes that love doesn’t exist!” Of course he wanted to know more about her.

He asked her why she felt that love doesn’t exist and she told him about her marriage and how she and her husband had both lost respect for each other. She told him about how they hurt each other, and at a certain point she discovered that she didn’t love him and that he didn’t love her either. ‘But the children need a father, and that was my excuse to stay and to do whatever I could to support him. Now the children are grown up and they have left. I no longer have any excuse to stay with him….There is no sense to look around for something that doesn’t exist. That is why I am crying.’

Understand her very well, he embraced her and said, “You are right; love doesn’t exist. We look for love, we open our heart and we become vulnerable, just to find selfishness. That hurts us even if we don’t think we will be hurt. It doesn’t matter how many relationships we have; the same thing happens again and again. Why even search for love any longer?”

They were so much alike, and they became the best friends ever. It was a wonderful relationship. They respected each other, and they never put each other down. With every step they took together, they were happy. There was no envy or jealousy, there was no control, and there was no possessiveness. The relationship kept growing and growing. They loved to be together, because when they were together, they had a lot of fun. When they were not together, they missed each other.

One day when the man was out of town, he had the weirdest idea. He was thinking, ‘Hmm, maybe what I feel for her is love. But this is so different from what I have ever felt before. It’s not what the poets say it is, it’s not what religion says it is, because I am not responsible for her. I don’t take anything from her; I don’t have the need for her to take care of me; I don’t need to blame her for my difficulties or to take my dramas to her. We have the best time together; we enjoy each other. I respect the way she thinks, the way she feels. She doesn’t embarrass me; she doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t feel jealous when she’s with other people; I don’t feel envy when she is successful. Perhaps love does exist, but it’s not what everyone thinks love is.’

He could hardly wait to go back home and talk to her, to let her know about his weird idea. As soon as he started talking, she knew exactly what he was talking about. She felt the same way. They decided to become lovers and to live together, and it was amazing that things didn’t change. They still respected each other, they were still supportive of each other, and the love grew more and more.

The man’s heart was so full with all the love he felt that one night a great miracle happened. He was looking at the stars and he found the most beautiful one, and his love was so big that the star started coming down from the sky and soon that star was in his hands. Then a second miracle happened, and his soul merged with that star. He was intensely happy, and he could hardly wait to go to the woman and put that star in her hands to prove his love for her. As soon as he put the star in her hands, she felt a moment of doubt. This love was overwhelming, and in that moment, the star fell from her hands and broke in a million little pieces.

Now there is an old man walking around the world swearing that love doesn’t exist. And there is a beautiful old woman at home waiting for a man, shedding a tear for a paradise that once she had in her hands, but for one moment of doubt, she let it go. This is the story about the man who didn’t believe in love.

Who made the mistake? Do you want to guess what went wrong? The mistake was on the man’s part in thinking he could give the woman his happiness. The star was his happiness, and his mistake was to put his happiness in her hands. Happiness never comes from outside of us. He was happy because of the love coming out of him; she was happy because of the love coming out of her. But as soon as he made her responsible for his happiness, she broke the star because she could not be responsible for his happiness.

No matter how much the woman loved him, she could never make him happy because she could never know what he had in his mind. She could never know what his expectations were, because she could not know his dreams.

If you take your happiness, and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, they are going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, you can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love, you are responsible for your own happiness. We can never make anyone responsible for our own happiness, but when we go to the church to get married, the first thing we do is exchange rings. We put our star in each other’s hands, expecting that they are going to make you happy, and you are going to make them happy. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.

That is the mistake most of us make right from the beginning. We base our happiness on our partner and it doesn’t work that way. We make all those promises that we cannot keep, and we set ourselves up to fail.

What a great reminder; being loved isn't happiness. Loving others, ourselves first and foremost, is happiness. And we would be so wise to release the expecation of others to "make" us happy, because at the end of the day we are always responsible for our own happiness.

Now go get happy. Then find someone to share it with. And if you haven't read The Mastery Of Love, you should.

Inner Radiance, Outer Magnificence

2012-01-10T23:55:00.000-08:00

Come play and discover your inner radiance coupled with outer magnificence. Learn how to shine with glowing brilliance via the pathways of Bio-Feedback for Anti-Aging, Mind/Body Remedies, Nutrition, Organic Skin Care, Hormonal Therapies, Yoga, Color Feng Shui, Hair Design and Fashion, taught by nine respected and talented speakers, healers, doctors, teachers, and fashion experts. There will also be products to enhance your life. Expect a new vision of who you are for 2012; learn positive and productive ways to feel radiantly beautiful YOU.

$75 tickets and information available online

BeyondZProductions • Candia Sanders • 360-608-9555

Featured Presenters:

•Candia Sanders: Intuitive and Energetic Healer

“How to Feel Beautiful from the Inside”

•Dr. Anne Scott, ND

“Your Body’s Natural Grace”

•Dr. Judy Sugg, Doctor of Psychology

“Loving Yourself, Loving Your Future”

•Sandra Tabb and Julia Rein

“Bio-Feedback for Anti-Aging”

•Bonnie Reif: Owner “Firefly Atelier” Hair Design

“Beyond Hair Design”

•Deb McFerron: Christine Alexander Clothing

“Fashion Show”

•Sarahanne Thompson: Owner “Facial Effects Skin Care”

“Go Natural! Find What Nourishes Your Skin”

•Nikki Krause: Make-Up Extraordinaire

“Color Feng Shui”

Free parking • Room rates available for participants

Former participants: Bring a friend, you're free!

A Letter From An Old Friend

2011-11-22T00:26:00.000-08:00

This is a letter from an old friend of mine that I just found. It's one of my favorite things someone has ever written to me. I love re-reading this from time to time. It's always nice to hear the potential that others see in you, even when at the time you may not be able to see it in yourself.

8-23-2006

This quote reminded me of us....

"There is no greater burden than that of great potential."

I know we both have great potential. The burden is knowing that we have potential, but not knowing what that potential is. The reality is we know what to do. We do it everyday. I often think about how you remind me of myself. I wish success upon you.

I'm learning it is okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are what define a person. How a person recovers and learns from mistakes is how they set themselves apart from other people. Deep down a person knows they’re a good person. Life purposely comes with pains and trials to see if a person can make it. Eventually there are only a few standing. It's not that those left standing are better than other people. It's that they don't know how not to overcome obstacles and succeed. If they were to give up, whether the test was simple or hard, the light that shine's from within would dim. Essentially they would die. Maybe that person would still be breathing, but the person they are, the person they’ve become, the person everyone loves and gravitates towards, would fade away. Since this is not in their nature the latter is unacceptable and will never happen. This is the burden. This is our burden. Our place is to be the light house for others. In what facet? I'm not sure. This is what I’m trying to figure out. Maybe it’s as simple as genuine kindness and a smile. Maybe it’s a listening ear, or providing a good laugh. Who knows? I don’t. There are certain people that everybody goes to for a laugh or some sound advice, but where do those people go for a laugh or sound advice? Each other? Again I'm not sure.

The person in question's place on earth is to give their energy to heal others. Not like a doctor with a band aid or prescription. It’s to mend people with genuine care, compassion and kindness. It’s to remind people there is good on earth and everything is going to be okay. There is no energy left for that person at the end of the day, week, year, to take care of themselves. That is what is remarkable. The miracle of that person is they keep going. They keep laughing and smiling even if there is pain. They keep going unguided and without promise of reward. Nik I think we are a couple of those people. Maybe we're not supposed to be movie stars or politicians. Maybe being rich and famous isn't our place. Maybe our place is to touch the people around us and make their life a little easier. Whether it be a kind smile and a hello to an unsuspecting stranger in passing, or whether it's listening to an old friend in need. This is who we are. This is what we do. I think I might be alright with that. Ya, I'm alright with that.

Thirty One

2011-11-18T01:38:00.000-08:00

What an amazing birthday wish! Okay, so what if it's from Mike Dooley's automated "Happy Birthday" Newsletter that goes out to everyone on their day. I loved it so much that I never wanted to forget it. So I'm sharing it.

A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Nikki Krause doesn't come along all that often. In fact, there's never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You're an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:
You're the kind of person, Nikki,
Who's hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you've met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don't know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

Nikki, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn't know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won't be alone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Nikki!

PS - Nikki, this is going to be YOUR year!!

I have been enthusiastically awaiting the arrival of 31. They say turning 30 is amazing. And I'm not going to go on about how horrible my year of 30 was. Instead, I'm going to give my gratitude to all the wonderful lessons that came with it. Lesson's on love, healing, forgiveness. Learning the true strength of my character and the inner strength of my being. Learning to take the path of least resistance, also known as the downstream approach vs. the upstream approach. Remembering to always trust in my intuition. Re-learning the real meaning of faith and how truly great God is. Remembering how truly important your family is. Learning what it means to not only have great friends, and who your real ones are, but to also know how to be one. And mostly, to never give up. You fall down 7 times, you get up 8.

Now welcoming year 31. A year of celebration.

Great Words By Simon And Garfunkel

2011-11-16T20:00:00.000-08:00

When you're weary

Feeling small

When tears are in your eyes

I will dry them all

I'm on your side

When times get rough

And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

When you're down and out

When you're on the street

When evening falls so hard

I will comfort you

I'll take your part

When darkness comes

And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl

Sail on by

Your time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

If you need a friend

I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind

Your Intuition Is The Wisest Adviser You'll Ever Have

2011-11-11T00:54:00.000-08:00

True story. Listen to it. It doesn't lie. And the more you trust in it and follow it, the stronger and more unmistakeable it becomes. Listen to your dreams. Listen to your gut. Listen to your heart. They very well could just save your life.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

-Steve Jobs

The Words Of Neil Gaiman

2011-11-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal God who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal God who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

-Neil Gaiman, American Gods

What The Bleep.

2011-11-06T21:27:00.000-08:00

My dream from last Friday eve:

I go to Church and an Angel pulls me aside and into this side room. She says "Okay, so I'm just going to tell you this, you have Ovarian Cancer. It's on your left side. I'm really sorry." I start arguing with her begging her to please not let it be so because I have had the hardest past year and need a break. She says "I know I know. And I'm so sorry, but this is one more battle that you have to go through right now. It's how you are going to become that much more relateable and inspirational to others. See?". She pulls out a magazine article, I swear it's O Magazine :), and it's a story about never giving up with a picture of me with my two kids.

After arguing with her and begging for a break, even if it's just a year, she's just says "I'm sorry. But know that you are going to be fine. Just remember to stay spiritually connected at all times and know that we are all here for you." I finally exhale and say "okay" and walk out of the room. I enter into this giant warehouse. There is this huge exit door that led to the outside at the other end of the building, so I walked towards it. There was a big sign right before the exit that read "WARNING: Lots Of Angels Ahead!", I think it was meant to be humorous. Once outside it was this beautiful park with trees and grassy hills overlooking this lake. There were people everywhere and families having picnics. Everyone was watching the Sunset, my favorite. It was so beautiful I pulled out my camera phone and started taking pictures. My family then showed up and we walked through this park ready to fight my battle with cancer. It was so real, as in current, that I started canceling all the plans I have made for the next 6 months.

Then I woke up.

For those that know me, I'm a very vivid and in tune dreamer. They come true sometimes. I've always been that way. My family has never questioned my dreams, especially the ones with messages, because I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Of course their first reaction, which is my first reaction when having this dream, is to get in to get things checked out. I've had a handful of dreams that I can still tell you every little detail about because they seemed real. This is one of those dreams.

What's so "real" about this dream is that I have had this one cyst on my left ovary that just does not want to go away. It showed up again last winter as a concern and I have been treating the things, like PCOS, holistically. I haven't had it checked out since last winter, but will on Tuesday. Fingers crossed that all goes well.

Does this dream scare me? Mildly. But this Angel also told me I'm going to be okay. And I believe that. Either way, I have two ridiculously gorgeous kids to look forward to and possibly a spread in O Magazine. What's not to love about that?

1000 Beautiful Things

2011-10-31T16:21:00.000-07:00

It's something new. It's a countdown of 1000 Beautiful Things that make the soul smile. What's #1000? You. 1000 Beautiful Things

Something I Really Love: Good People.

2011-10-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

As a new addict of Sex & The City, and a former addict of The Babysitters Club books in my younger days, I grew up seeing the importance of a close-knit group of friends in my life. I've always been really lucky in the friend department. I've drawn some amazing people to me.

I remember at one point in my early twenties I had so many circle's of friends and it was too much. I wanted quality over quantity. So I went through my phone (at the time, it was a Limited Edition gold Dolce & Gabbana Motorola, yep had one) and got rid of everyone who I didn't feel served purpose or added something positive to my life. I remember thinking alright, your friendships are a reflection of you. Did everyone I have in my circle replicate some quality that I transpired to radiate. Were they healthy. Did they make me feel good. Could I sit down with them outside of a bar setting and carry on a conversation. Was it a give and a receive on both of our parts, because friendships, like plants, need watering too. You can't continue to give and give without getting anything in return. Were they like minded. I became okay with cutting my contacts from 400+ in half. I didn't worry about losing anyone because I knew if they were meant to be in my world then they would circle back around. It was a bold and empowering move for me and I never looked at friendships or people I have in my life the same again. I embraced the ones that remained and gave a smile back to the rest.

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." -Jim Rohn

I heard someone say once "if you want to be a millionaire, you have to surround yourself with millionaires" how true is that? My millionaires are such a diverse and brilliant group of lovely individuals. Their jobs and age range all vary. It's perfect. They all have different views and takes on the world. They all radiate good qualities and make my world brighter. Conversations are never the same. Beautifully. Balanced. Diversity.

Sadly, we aren't all in the same city or even the same state. We are all over the country which inhibits us from Sex & The City style Sunday brunch's and Happy Hour's on Wednesdays. But that's okay, my millionaires are life driven, goal oriented dream chasers like myself. We have the later part of our lives to meet up for hh's. Maybe even in a more spontaneous fashion like at that cafe in Paris.

Sometimes it's not us cutting people out of our life, it's them cutting us out of theirs. Ouch, yes. But ultimately, you never really know who’s going to stick around and who’s going to slip out. All you can do is adore the ones who are in your world and send out your love to the people who aren’t with you any longer. Friendships don’t last forever, but do they all need to? (aha moment). You can learn just as much from someone you’ve known a month as someone you’ve known for over a decade.

Something I know for sure: at the end of a day you are feeling unloved, you aren't. You are so much more adored than you know. You’re adored by people from your past, people in your present, and people you have yet to meet. You are loved.

Promise.

Dance.

2011-10-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

dance: an art form of expression using body movements. the act of allowing yourself to connect with the music and feel the beat. i.e. "look at that girl dance!"

That's what my weekend consisted of for 48hrs. And I'll tell you, it's amazing what a really good dance party can do for the soul. Like a really good one. And for a full two days. In Vegas. Dance party equals clarity coming in, clouds of stress being lifted, all worries being tossed aside, and just letting go.

I think a good dance party should be the new black.

As Frank Sinatra once sang,

"What is dancin' but making love set to music..."

Well put Frank.

“Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts." -JM

2011-10-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.”

―Jim Morrison

Yellow.

2011-10-12T01:18:00.000-07:00

-the color of sunshine, joy, happiness, and intellect. arouses cheerfulness and stimulates mental activity.

"Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun."

-John Lennon

Your inner beauty never needs makeup.

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you."

-Charlotte Whitton

"...the sun never says to the earth, "You owe Me."

Look what happens with a love like that,

It lights up the whole sky." -Hafiz

Food For Thought.

2011-10-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

"It's Not Failure. It's Just A Redirection."

I was having a conversation with someone the other day about trying to let go of the things that I feel that I have "failed" at, according to me of course, and she said "It's not failure, it's just a redirection". The aha-moment shortly kicks in. "Oh yeah, huh." is my reply and I walk away in total awe for a moment thinking to myself about the "redirection" piece of this. I am so increcibly intrigued by this whole concept and I'm starting to think that it's just the word "redirection", because let's face it, it sounds far better than "failure". But really in the bigger picture of things, it's all for a reason, right? (The whole everything-happens-for-a-reason saying isn't my favorite, just like the term soulmates, but that's a different conversation piece.) Yet it's still so difficult for us to let go of that "failure" mindset and recognize it for what it's really worth. We are so hard on ourselves aren't we?

Cheers to new perspective. Again. Keep it comin'.

"Forget about the consequences of failure. Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success."

-Denis Waitley

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more intelligently."

~ Henry Ford

Journey To Wings. My Future Wall Art Meets My Inner Voice.

2011-09-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

“Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, filling it with a steady and perpetual serenity”

Kelly Rae Roberts is my new favorite Artist! Her Wall Art is fantastic and increcibly inspirational. Read about her. She is delish! And she now lives in Portland, OR. Gotta love a Pacific NW recruit. I can't wait to fill my new place, my very own place, with all her pieces. I am literally starting with nothing but a classic Wrigely Field picture and Yankee Stadium print my Dad gave me. Awesome. Excited for all things new.

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."

"listen to your life. see if for the fathomless mystery that it is. touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."

"What Is Calling You?"

"Fearless. Always."

http://kellyraeroberts.com/

Personal Empowerment & Expansion Day: Come Play & Learn.

2011-09-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

Time for a new perspective on living with grace, ability, agility, humor and health?

This all day event, Saturday October 1st, is for women who want to be grateful for their bodies and responsible as they age. The purpose is to validate, educate and share ways to feel beautiful in a world that emphasizes "photoshop" beauty. Come join us for an amazing day filled with phenomenal information, talented speakers, doctors, healers, fashion experts and products to enhance your life on many levels. You will learn new angles on how to shift your life in positive and productive ways and feel comfortable with who you are. Drawing from local talent, the event will be hands-on and totally accessible.

Hormonal Therapies, Bio-Feedback for Anti-aging, Color Feng Shui, Organic Skin Care, NLP, Yoga, Mind/Body Remedies, Visualizations...

Eight Guest Speakers:

•Candia Sanders, International Intuitive "Comfortable in Your Own Skin"
•Dr. Anne Scott, ND "Your Body's Natural Grace"
•Dr. Judy Sugg, Ph.D. "Loving Yourself, Loving Your Future"
•Marie Black LMP, Acorn Organica "Infusing Your Skin with Organic Actives"
•Sandra Tabb, "Bio-Feedback for Anti-Aging"
•Bonnie Reif, Firefly Attlier "Beyond Hair Design"
•Nikki Krause, Make-Up Extraordinaire "Color Feng Shui"
•Deb McFerron, Fashion Expert "Christine Alexander" Fashion Show

Read more about Beauty Beyond Botox in an article by Candia Sanders in New Connexion.

To purchase tickets go to www.BeyondZProductions.com.

What If You CAN'T Find Your Passion...

2011-09-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

Written By: Elizabeth Gilbert

I've always considered myself lucky that I do not have many passions. There's only one pursuit that I have ever truly loved, and that pursuit is writing. This means, conveniently enough, that I never had to search for my destiny; I only had to obey it. What am I here for? No problem! I'm here to be a writer, and only a writer, from my first cigarette to my last dying day! No doubt about it!

Except that two years ago, I completely lost my life's one true passion, and all my certainties collapsed with it.

Here's what happened: After the unexpected success of Eat, Pray, Love, I diligently sat down to work on my next project—another memoir. I worked hard, as always, conducting years of research and interviews. And when I was finished, I had produced a first draft that was...awful.

I'm not being falsely modest here. Truly, the book was crap. Worse, I couldn't figure out why it was crap. Moreover, it was due at the publisher.

Demoralized, I wrote a letter to my editor, admitting that I had utterly failed. He was nice about it, considering. He said, "Don't worry. You'll figure it out." But I did worry, because for the first time in my life, I had absolutely no passion for writing. I was charred and dry. This was terrifyingly disorienting. I couldn't begin to know who I was without that old, familiar fire. I felt like a cardboard cutout of myself.

My old friend Sarah, seeing me so troubled, came to the rescue with this sage advice:

"Take a break! Don't worry about following your passion for a while. Just follow your curiosity instead."

She was not suggesting that I ditch my passion forever, of course, but rather that I temporarily ease off the pressure by exploring something new, some completely unrelated creative endeavor—something that I could find interesting, but with much lower emotional stakes. When passion feels so out of reach, Sarah explained, curiosity can be a calming diversion. If passion is a tower of flame, then curiosity is a modest spark—and we can almost always summon up a modest spark of interest about something.

So what was my modest spark? Gardening, as it turned out. Following my friend's advice, I stepped away from my writing desk and spent six months absentmindedly digging in the dirt. I had some successes (fabulous tomatoes!); I had some failures (collapsed bean poles!). None of it really mattered, though, because gardening, after all, was just my curiosity—something to keep me modestly engaged through a difficult period. (At such moments, believe me, even modest engagement can feel like a victory.)

Then the miracle happened. Autumn came. I was pulling up the spent tomato vines when—quite suddenly, out of nowhere—I realized exactly how to fix my book. I washed my hands, returned to my desk, and within three months I'd completed the final version of Committed—a book that I now love.

Gardening, in other words, had turned me back into a writer.

So here's my weird bit of advice: If you've lost your life's true passion (or if you're struggling desperately to find passion in the first place), don't sweat it. Back off for a while. But don't go idle, either. Just try something different, something you don't care about so much. Why not try following mere curiosity, with its humble, roundabout magic? At the very least, it will keep you pleasantly distracted while life sorts itself out. At the very most, your curiosity may surprise you. Before you even realize what's happening, it may have led you safely all the way home.

Shoes & Carrie Bradshaw

2011-09-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

“The fact is, sometimes it’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun." -CB

"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going." -CB

"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" -CB

"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate." -CB

"Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be." -CB

"Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?" -CB

“As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can't help but whine, 'Are we there yet?"

-CB

"Suddenly, I felt like I was wearing patchouli in a room full of Chanel." -CB

It's time to buy a new pair of shoes.

Joy.

2011-09-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Smile Anyway.

Changing Seasons.

2011-09-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Fall is coming, and for us in Portland, I think it's pretty safe to say that it is here. What does this mean for me? It's time to pull out the Crockpot, try new soup recipes, officially switch to those white cups with sleeves instead of the see-thru ones with ice, trade in flip flops for boots, scarves, and sweaters, and buy all things cinnamon scented. I love Fall. It is my favorite season. I love the city smelling like a wood burning fireplace. It's cozy. There is an energy about Fall that just gets me all giddy.

Maybe it's the transition process itself and watching how everything around us transforms. Seeing everything turn red, yellow, and orange. Knowing that nothing ever stays the same. Thing's go from being so beautiful and in full bloom to losing all those things that make up it's beauty. Shedding itself of what it no longer needs and all things stagnant so it can re-emerge in full bloom again. But in a different way. A better way. There is always some sadness and some joy, (I really do love my JCrew flip flops). But when you are completely stripped down to the bare you can't help but re-emerge as something greater than what you were before, hopefully stronger and wiser. Whether we are prepared for it or not seasons come and they go. It can either be incredibly fruitful or horribly disheartening. All depends on perspective I guess. I'll embrace it. I love finding a better version of myself.

And I have to say I could not have picked a more perfect time to move back to Oregon, right at the beginning of the changing season.

"Come said the wind to the leaves one day, Come o're the meadows and we will play. Put on your dresses scarlet and gold, For summer is gone and the days grow cold."

Unkown Author, 1880

Shine It All Around.

2011-09-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

by Robert Plant

This is the land where I live

Paint it all over golden

Take a little sunshine - spread it all around

This is the love that I give

These are the arms for the holding

Turn on your love light - shine it all around

Turn on your love light - shine it all around

Shine it all around - shine it all around

These are the times of my life

Bright, strong and golden

This is the way that I choose when the deal goes down

This is the world that I love

Painted all over troubled

Take a little sunshine - shine it all around

Send a little sign now - spread it all around now

Shine it all around now, when the deal goes down now

Shine it all around - shine it all around

This is the heart of the man

This is the heart of the matter

Break a little bread now - spread it all around

Come on, make a little bread now - all around

Shine it all around - shine it all around

That One Summer Night.

2011-08-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

You know which one I'm talking about, the one where everything is perfect. Especially after a day where you feel like all of your mojo has been taken from you and life decided to slap you in the face again. You find yourself in that place of solitude. Sitting on the front porch, barefoot and in a summer dress because it's still warm out, seeing the outlines of palm trees against a starry sky, hearing the crickets and frogs talk, and listening to the faint sound of the ocean that sits a mile away. It's so beautiful and peaceful that you feel like God made this just for you. Everything in that present moment seems right in the world and your heart just overflows with gratitude. You experience pure bliss. Thank you for this tonight.

bliss: a state of profound satisfaction, happiness and joy, a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss.

an excerpt from

Summer

by: Amy Lowell

And it is summer, glorious, deep-toned summer,

The very crown of nature's changing year

When all her surging life is at its full.

To me alone it is a time of pause,

A void and silent space between two worlds,

When inspiration lags, and feeling sleeps,

Gathering strength for efforts yet to come.

Feeling Beauty VS Seeing Beauty.

2011-08-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

The other day this young girl walks up to the makeup counter at Chanel and asks for "Nikki". I say hi and asked her what I could help her with. She tells me that I had helped her Mom a few weeks back and that her Mom felt that I had a "good spirit about me" and would be a good person to help her find some new makeup. Instantly I know that this is not something ordinary. I gladly sit her down and start asking her the usual questions, what her daily routine is, what kind of colors she tends to gravitate towards etc. She then tells me that she doesn't have a daily routine because she can't see color and that she is vision impaired. "Oh", I say surprised and confused as to what exactly she was wanting me to help her with. She says she wants to be able to do her own makeup. She doesn't want to have her Mom or her friends have to do it for her. She wants to do it herself. I feel so saddened because I can't imagine what it would be like to have no sight, but I feel instantly inspired to help her.

I spent the next hour showing this girl how to do her own makeup all by touch. I would do one half of her face and let her feel how my hands were positioned, then I would let her do the other half of her face. I picked out colors that would be easy to blend and in a sense, fool proof. By the end of that hour this girl looked so beautiful and was just beaming. Passers by who had no idea that she was vision impaired were commenting on how pretty her makeup was. It was exactly what she needed. Actually it was exactly what we both needed. Through out this lesson she kept saying to me "bless you for doing this". All I could think was how could I not?

When we were finished, she kept getting compliments and she couldn't stop smiling. But then the mood quickly shifted and she got incredibly angry and upset. I asked her what was wrong. She started crying and said that she wishes she could see it. My heart just sank. I didn't really know what to say, I couldn't relate to her or understand where she was coming from, and it was just quiet for a minute. Then I said to her "well you may not be able to see it but let me tell you what I see..." and I went into as much detail as I could about the colors we used, what they did to her eyes, how her skin was glowing and most importantly how it made her FEEL. Because really, at the end of the day, that's exactly what makeup does for a woman, it makes us feel pretty. And Eva left that day feeling pretty. I would even go as far as saying she felt damn beautiful.

Hands down my favorite makeup lesson yet.

SATC.

2011-08-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

“I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it."

-Carrie Bradshaw

The Symbolism Of Broken Pieces.

2011-08-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

I came across these questions from a mentoring program that the American Visionary Art Museum host's each year for highschool students. I absolutely LOVE this. One of their projects is to work with a mosaic artist to cover the walls of the museum. They use broken glass pieces, discarded pottery, and broken mirrors. The walls are to symbolize the beauty that can be seen in all things, even discarded broken objects. The lesson is reflected on the walls: when we value potential in things and in people, they will come to value it in themselves.

Here are the 7 educational goals of the American Visionary Art Museum. I find myself applying these to my own life.

1. Expand the definition of a worthwhile life.

2. Engender respect for and delight in the gifts of others.

3. Increase awareness of the wide variety of choices available in life for all ... particularly students

4. Encourage each individual to build upon his or her own special knowledge and inner strengths

5. Promote the use of innate intelligence, intuition, self-exploration, and creative self-reliance.

6. Confirm the great hunger for finding out just what each of us can do best, in our own voice, at any age.

7. Empower the individual to choose to do that something really, really well.

Iconic Audrey.

2011-08-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

-Audrey Hepburn

Pink.

2011-08-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

"Life is short. Kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly"

-Paulo Coelho

The Optimist Creed.

2011-08-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Promise Yourself:

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson

Remembering To Exhale.

2011-08-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

Grace does not leave us where it found us. If one tries to stay open to God working within oneself then there is no way we are going to stay in the same place. Things will change, usually in ways we had never imagined or dreamed possible. The hard part is letting go of the fears that keep us in the same place. Surrender. That has become the word I am trying to live from these days. I keep learning things about myself that I hadn't known before, or maybe didn't want to know, and it reminds me that God and the Universe lead me on this journey and all I really need to do is keep showing up, preferably with a smile on my face and an open mind. I think the sooner we can just trust in that, the richer our lives and our soul will be.

Let Us Play

2011-08-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

"Envision yourself as being a kind, loving, and confident human being, and that’s exactly

what you’ll grow into. Imagine yourself as happy, playful, and rich with a childlike heart,

and that’s exactly what you’ll eventually be.”

– Unknown

True Story.

2011-07-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

Shedding Your Limiting Beliefs…How Much Do You Get In Your Own Way?

2011-07-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Written by Sharon Light

I just got back from the trip of a lifetime. One month of me, the open road and about 20 different US cities. Nice, right? I’d been planning this trip for some time, figuring out where to go but determined to keep it “loose”, changing plans or destinations as I saw fit. Ah, freedom. I regarded these 30 days as my time – time to reflect, time to daydream, time to work on my business plan. I mean, who knew what could come of hours and hours of my being alone with my thoughts?

Well, that kind of backfired, at least at first. It didn’t take long for me to work myself into a tizzy, wondering how I might ever be able to move forward as a coach, do more to build my business, support myself and continue to succeed. My limiting beliefs (or “LBs”) were attempting to get the best of me. I was having a hard time convincing myself that I had what it takes. After some digging, I realized that my core belief, whether I liked it or not, was keeping me from moving forward.

Isn’t it amazing how limiting beliefs can stop you dead in your tracks? The key is not only to recognize them as the brick walls that they are, but to actually dissect them and dig deeper – dismantle them, if you will. It’s easy to say, “Yep, I’m getting in my own way.” That’s a start, but it’s not going to help you in actually getting OUT of your own way. Break down the pesky “LB”, dig it out piece by piece and replace it with a positive, strong and actually TRUE belief. Lo and behold:

I can’t do it turns into I can

I don’t have what it takes becomes I am ready, willing and able

I don’t deserve this morphs into I am worthy and showered in abundance.

Suddenly, your feelings follow suit, and therein lies the key: feelings of fear, unworthiness, doubt and (insert icky feeling here) are replaced with feelings of confidence, optimism and certainty. The vision you associate with the limiting belief turns vibrant. You’re in the process of getting out of your own way.

I work with people going through change or transition and my clients come to me at different stages of their personal journey. Often it starts with their beliefs: do they think the change they want to make is possible? Are they open to the possibility – the belief – that they can do this? If the answer is no, chances are an LB breakdown is in order.

Martha Beck, in her glorious, get-out-of-your-own-way handbook, Steering By Starlight, offers a method of deconstructing those limiting beliefs that came as a surprise to me. Believe it or not, it starts with your home. I’ve adapted it below – do this simple exercise first with your home, and you’ll quickly see how the “butterfly effect” takes it to other areas of your life – your work, your relationships, your health – and watch the LBs melt away.

1. Do a walk through of your home, mentally or physically, and survey your domain. Note how you feel as you walk from room to room. What feels good? What feels not so good? And what feels downright icky?

2. Hone in on the area of your home in which you feel the most discomfort, or even disgust. Could be a room, could be a cluttered shelf…

3. Now, close your eyes and think of a place, anywhere, that you find absolutely beautiful, happy and feel-good. It could be a place you’ve experienced, or a place you’ve only seen in a magazine – as long as it makes you feel delightful.

4. Find 3 adjectives to describe this “happy place” of yours. Feel free to jot them down:

1.

2.

3.

5. Go out and find something you can add to this “icky” area of your home that embodies one or more of the adjectives you used above. For the purpose of our time here in the Cafe, think about what this might be: A paint color? A pillow? A piece of art? Something to wrangle the clutter? Identify the object and add it to your “space of dispair”. Do this step more than once, if you like.

6. For as many items you add to this space, remove items from it that contribute to the dark feelings that drew you to the area in the first place. Take away anything that doesn’t inspire you.

7. Keep going until that space is right for you! Work with it. Change it. Morph it into an area that emanates inspiration and positivity, rather than an area that gives you a shot of discomfort every time you walk by.

Pretty simple, right? You can apply this to any area of your life in which you’re feeling that “discomfort”, or any area that you feel simply isn’t in order. In the exercise above, replace items you add and take away with actions you take. The effects will be unmistakable.

It took me well into my round-the-country trip to flip my limiting beliefs upside down, not to mention several different exercises like the one above. But, since I took a good look, I’m realizing more than ever that the sky’s the limit. When you boil it down, keeping the limiting beliefs at bay was how I got to see Interstate 10 up close and personal. I packed up my laptop, jumped in the car and took to the road for a whole month. How did that happen? I simply believed, without question, that I could.

People Change So You Can Learn To Let Go...

2011-07-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

In The Words Of Carrie Bradshaw

2011-07-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away” -SATC

The Voice Within

2011-07-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

"Someone is trying to tell you something, and that someone is you. Your INTUITION is the wisest adviser you'll ever have. And what it says about what you should do, what you should not do, and how you should live your life, can change everything."

#learninghowtolisten

Happiness Is...

2011-07-05T01:01:00.000-07:00

Martha Beck's 20 Questions That Could Change Your Life.

2011-07-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

Really? Let's see...

1. What questions should I be asking myself?
At first I thought asking yourself what you should be asking yourself was redundant. It isn't. Without this question, you wouldn't ask any others, so it gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it frequently.

2. Is this what I want to be doing?
This very moment is, always, the only moment in which you can make changes. Knowing which changes are best for you comes, always, from assessing what you feel. Ask yourself many times every day if you like what you're doing. If the answer is no, start noticing what you'd prefer. Thus begins the revolution.

3. Why worry?
These two words, considered sincerely, can radically reconfigure the landscape of your mind. Worry rarely leads to positive action; it's just painful, useless fear about hypothetical events, which scuttles happiness rather than ensuring it. Some psychologists say that by focusing on gratitude, we can shut down the part of the brain that worries. It actually works!

4. Why do I like {cupcakes} more than I like {people}?
Feel free to switch out the words in brackets: You may like TV more than exercise, or bad boys more than nice guys, or burglary more than reading. Whatever the particulars, every woman has something she likes more than the somethings she's supposed to like. But forcing "virtues"—trying to like people more than cupcakes—drives us to vices that offer false freedom from oppression. Stop trying to like the things you don't like, and many vices will disappear on their own.

5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?
Your existence is already a factor in world history—now, what sort of factor do you want it to be? Maybe you know you're here to create worldwide prosperity, a beautiful family, or one really excellent bagel. If your impressions are more vague, keep asking this question. Eventually you'll glimpse clearer outlines of your destiny. Live by design, not by accident.

6. How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?
In small ways or large, your life will change the world—and in small ways or large, the world will change you. What experiences do you want to have during your brief sojourn here? Make a list. Make a vision board. Make a promise. This won't control your future, but it will shape it.

7. Are {vegans} better people?
Again, it doesn't have to be vegans; the brackets are for you to fill in. Substitute the virtue squad that makes you feel worst about yourself, the one you'll never have the discipline to join, whether it's ultra-marathoners or mothers who never raise their voices. Whatever group you're asking about, the answer to this question is no.

8. What is my body telling me?
As I often say, my mind is a two-bit whore—by which I mean that my self-justifying brain, like any self-justifying brain, will happily absorb beliefs based on biases, ego gratification, magical thinking, or just plain error. The body knows better. It's a wise, capable creature. It recoils from what's bad for us, and leans into what's good. Let it.

9. How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?
I believe this question was originally posed by Lao Tzu, who also wrote, "To become learned, each day add something. To become enlightened, each day drop something." Face it: You'd be better off without some of your relationships, many of your possessions, and most of your thoughts. Chuck your chic-chick junk, chic chick. Enlightenment awaits.

10. What's so funny?
Adults tend to put this question to children in a homicidal-sounding snarl, which is probably why as you grew up, your laughter rate dropped from 400 times a day (for toddlers) to the grown-up daily average of 15. Regain your youth by laughing at every possible situation. Then, please, tell us what's funny—about everyday life, about human nature, even about pain and fear. We'll pay you anything.

11. Where am I wrong? This might well be the most powerful question on our list—as Socrates believed, we gain our first measure of intelligence when we first admit our own ignorance. Your ego wants you to avoid noticing where you may have bad information or unworkable ideas. But you'll gain far more capability and respect by asking where you're wrong than by insisting you're right.

12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?
I once read a story about a world where people sold memories the way we can sell plasma. The protagonist was an addict who'd pawned many memories for drugs but had sworn never to sell his memory of falling in love. His addiction won. Afterward he was unaware of his loss, lacking the memory he'd sold. But for the reader, the trade-off was ghastly to contemplate. Every time you choose social acceptance over your heart's desires, or financial gain over ethics, or your comfort zone over the adventure you were born to experience, you're making a similar deal. Don't.

13. Am I the only one struggling not to {****} during {yoga}?
I felt profoundly liberated when this issue was raised on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update." Not everyone does yoga, but SNL reminded me that everyone dreads committing some sort of gaffe. Substitute your greatest shame-fear: crying at work, belching in church, throwing up on the prime minister of Japan. Then know you aren't alone. Everyone worries about such faux pas, and many have committed them (well, maybe not the throwing up on PMs). Accepting this is a bold step toward mental health and a just society.

14. What do I love to practice?
Some psychologists believe that no one is born with any particular talent and that all skill is gained through practice. Studies have shown that masters are simply people who've practiced a skill intensely for 10,000 hours or more. That requires loving—not liking, loving—what you do. If you really want to excel, go where you're passionate enough to practice.

15. Where could I work less and achieve more?
To maximize time spent practicing your passions, minimize everything else. These days you can find machines or human helpers to assist with almost anything. Author Timothy Ferriss "batches" job tasks into his famous "four-hour workweek." My client Cindy has an e-mail ghostwriter. Another client, Angela, hired an assistant in the Philippines who flawlessly tracks her schedule and her investments. Get creative with available resources to find more time in your life and life in your time.

16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?
Ask this question just to remind yourself of the answer: You can't. Life is inherently uncertain. The way to cope with that reality is not to control and avoid your way into a rigid little demi-life, but to develop courage. Doing what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this.

17. Where should I break the rules?
If everyone kept all the rules, we'd still be practicing cherished traditions like child marriage, slavery, and public hangings. The way humans become humane is by assessing from the heart, rather than the rule book, where the justice of a situation lies. Sometimes you have to break the rules around you to keep the rules within you.

18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous, adoring mate, and a full staff of servants...then what?
We can get so obsessed with acquiring fabulous lives that we forget to live. When my clients ask themselves this question, they almost always discover that their "perfect life" pastimes are already available. Sharing joy with loved ones, spending time in nature, finding inner peace, writing your novel, plotting revenge—you can do all these things right now. Begin!

19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?
Your situation may endanger your life and limbs, but only your thoughts can endanger your happiness. Telling yourself a miserable mental story about your circumstances creates suffering. Telling yourself a more positive and grateful story, studies show, increases happiness. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, choose thoughts that knit your heart together, rather than tear it apart.

20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?
It's been several seconds since you asked this. Ask it again. Not to make yourself petulant or frustrated—just to see if it's possible to choose anything, and I mean any little thing, that would make your present experience more delightful. Thus continues the revolution.

I like.

Thank You Dr. Seuss.

2011-06-30T01:45:00.000-07:00

Never Make Permanent Decisions On Temporary Feelings.

2011-06-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

Lesson noted. What a great statement to be reminded to sometimes just "sleep on it".

My usual M.O. is to always go with whatever my gut tells me. And I would say that I am definitely in-tune with myself enough and have a strong enough intuition that I have rarely been mislead. Or I've atleast known better. But being the emotional water sign that I am, sometimes things can get a little foggy. This extra dose of Full Moon/Eclipse stuff going on lately doesn't help either. When I'm feeling "off" I usually just take a step back to re-ground myself then re-enter into life cool, calm, and collected. But it has been a little bit more difficult lately. These circumstances create bad grounds for decision making. So many people I know, friends, family, co-workers, along with myself, are going through some kind of a "life-cleanse". It serves it's purpose though. We are clearing out old things that no longer serve us. Making room for new things to come into our lives and enliven us. Then figure out what our next step is to get us to our purpose.

Insomnia has been my BFF the past 3 weeks, (that's why the term "sleep on it" is in quotations). Together, we lay awake at night with way too many thoughts racing through our heads, and are missing out on all the wonderfully insightful and sometimes indecent dreams that we used to once have. Being in the new place that I am, I am ready for whatever is next. But I don't want to make any permanent decisions on temporary feelings. I will make way for my clarity to come in. I'm going to "sleep on it". Or atleast try, And if I can't sleep then I will watch SNL re-runs. Then try again tomorrow.

Happiness.

2011-06-25T01:36:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes to be truly happy, you have to follow your heart, no matter what everyone else may think." Ali Liebegott

30 (1/2), Flirty (not yet), & Thriving (sort of?)

2011-06-21T05:01:00.000-07:00

My thoughts exactly Jennifer Garner. Because if I was thriving I would be doing this...

And I would have a closet that looked like this...

But no. I can't even tell you how many sleepless nights in the past 6 months I've watched this...

While waiting for this guy to show up at my door...

Which he never did. After experiencing every emotion one could possibly think of, reading copious amounts of self-help books, over indulging in too many Rom-Com's on Netflix, and almost becoming a Facebook stalker and coffee addict, I am happy to say that I have recently graduated from "Heartbreak Academy". All while being 821 miles away from my family and friends. Plain and simple, divorce sucks.

Talk about really getting to know yourself again. I've bitched, cried, discovered, accepted, and revealed. I've experienced multiple "ah-ha's" and "wtf's". Been tested in more ways than I could have ever imagined. And yes, I am guilty of wanting to commit multiple counts of slanderous character assassination. But I refused to let myself get to that place. I couldn't. For my own conscious, healing, and peace of mind. At the end of the day, this is my own personal journey and I need to be able to look back and think that I handled situations and circumstances the very best I could. You learn and move on.

Ernest Hemingway said "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.". I've been reminded that we hold the key to our own happiness and healing, that perspective is everything, and when you combine these things, it really can help you "master the lessons a broken heart can teach.". That and of course God, my amazing family, my amazing 2nd family in Pali Cali, the absolute best girlfriends in the world, their awesome hubbies, their cute babies, coffee dates with wise friends, lunch dates with new friends, phone dates while looking at the ocean, surprise cards and lengthy emails, fantastic co-workers, one or three dirty vodka martini's, on that one-crazy-night-out that you are still laughing about (one word: Emily), and those few slightly less crazy nights where you discovered that Emergen-C doesn't work for hangovers at 30 the way it did for you at 25, spending time with the "what if's", Disneyland, "Eat. Pray, Love" and Paulo Coelho quotes, my dreams, San Diego daytrips, and being absolutely certain that Adele's latest album was written just for me.

With all of this, I have unfolded this newer version of myself. She's not that bad.

Model Micah Downey Photographer Mathew Priestley

2011-06-17T02:05:00.000-07:00

Model Savannah Moody Photographer Matthew Priestley

2011-06-17T01:54:00.000-07:00

Model Kacy Owens Rodgers Photographer Nick Saurez

2010-09-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ford Model Derek Essoyan Photographer Matt Priestley

2010-08-07T11:22:00.001-07:00

Breath Of Portland Fashion Show

2010-06-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

Such a great Event, great Cause, and great to be working in my home town with old friends and family.

Wedding of Jeff & Jill Frey

2010-05-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

Bobbi Brown University

2010-05-13T00:57:00.001-07:00

I love this Henry Ford quote...

2009-08-10T15:03:00.000-07:00

When everything seems to be going against you,
remember the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
- Henry Ford

It seems like these past few months have been a series of roller coaster rides for many people. Things have been either incredibly amazing and a blessing of beautiful events and opportunities, or just a spiraled down hill of hopelessness and lack of inspiration. Many people are getting divorced and many people are having babies. Such a contrast. But I also think it's a time of transition for many, and I think alot of it started with the economy. We're reflecting on things, and life, and the people in them. Are we doing what we want to do with ourselves, are we fulfilling our passions, are we being inspired and inspiring. It's a perfect time for a career change, to go down a path you may have never thought you would have gone down. That's what I'm doing and it feels amazing and oh so exhilarating. It's also a time when it seems like when one area of your life starts going great, another begs to differ. Why does that happen? I hate that. All the contrast of life I guess. I love the Henry Ford quote above, it reminds me to keep trying to fly.

Can I just say how excited I am....

2009-07-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

about Bare Minerals coming out with a Matte formula! Bare Minerals works great on my oily skin, but I hate the shimmer factor of it. There's just too much of it. So I went to Sephora, got my free 10 day sample since it's actually not available yet, and I love it. It's a great summertime makeup. I love the oil-free formula from Bobbi Brown too, but find with humidity the BM works really well.

Just had to share my excitement :)

Boston

2009-06-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

Can I just say how excited I am to be heading back to Boston on Sunday for my Bobbi Brown training at Emerson College? I'm thrilled. I love Bobbi Brown cosmetics and love the kind of person that Bobbi herself represents. I won't be finished with my training until mid-August, but i'll update about my travels and training and keep everyone posted on where I'm headed. I'm hoping this takes me to every fashion week around the world :)

Spring Beauty Must-Haves

2009-04-07T22:36:00.000-07:00

Nars The Multiple Duo in Portofino/Malibu, which is a shimmering coral/pinkish brown, or my personal favorite Maui/Palm Beach, which is a dusty rose/rich bronze. These are so versatile they can be used for eyes, lips, & cheeks. It's my quick go to makeup when I don't have alot of time and the compact fits easily into your purse.

Bobbi Brown Long Wear Gel Liner. I have been using MAC Fluidline Eye Liner Gel, but a friend of mine told me try this and I did and I LOVED it. It was so easy to work with. And Bobbi Brown's brush was easier to use in my opinion.

Make Up For Ever Super Matte Loose Powder. This provides a light, silky finish with a smooth texture. I tend to have oily skin and this powder is fabulous to have in my purse. Especially now that we are moving into warmer weather.

Bliss Triple Oxygen Instant Energizing Mask. What a perfect mask to transition from winter to spring. It's so quick too, you just slather the gel-texture onto your face and neck, leave it there until it starts to foam up and then rinse it off. You skin looks & feels incredibly fresh. I'm not one to blog too much about a face mask, but this one is worth blogging about.

Bliss High Intensity Hand Cream To Go. I always have a tube of this in my purse. It's wonderful, moisturizing, but not greasy. And it smells fresh, like spring :).

Estee Lauder Idealist. Not only does this stuff slough away dead skin cells, it makes your pore smaller. I promise! It's the best thing I've ever used for my skin. I have been using this along with the Idealist Eye cream and I swear by it.

Loreal Sublime Bronze Gel. It's streak free, has vitamin E, and offers an SPF 15 protection for your skin. It even has a subtle shimmer which looks great with the sun against your skin. I personally use Medium/Deep, but some may prefer the Light/Medium.

Sephora by OPI Nail Color in Bare To Be Different. It's the perfect sheer shade w/ a slight pink tint to it, and it looks great against tan skin.

Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo. This is my new favorite! I only blow out my hair every other day and this dry shampoo is not only amazing at getting rid of any oily roots or sweat from working out, it smells like freshly shampooed hair with a lemon verbena scent. Love it! And if you are a camping person, this is great to take along.

Marc Jacobs Perfume Daisy. This fresh floral captures the happy essence of the daisy with hints of Strawberry, Ruby Red Grapefruit, Gardenia, Jasmine, and a touch of Violet. Very spring/summer!

Finding Out About My Distant Family

2009-03-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

Many people know that my maiden name is Karstendiek, but what alot of people don't know is that my maiden name should be Abdulhadi.

My Grandmother grew up in Chicago and had my Dad there. She had been dating a man who was attending Roosevelt University named Munzier Abdulhadi. When my Dad was 3 days old still in the hospital, Munzier came and saw him but wanted to take him back to Jordan for the reason being that he was the first born son, and the first born son is usually set to be a Prince. Apparently we are related to King Hussein, King of Jordan, (NO relation to Saddam) and all of the royalty family. My Grandmother, out of fear for my Dad being taken, put her first husband down as the biological father. My Grandmother never saw Munzier again, my Dad has never seen or met his Father, not even a picture, and we know very very little about our background.

Unfortunately my Grandmother passed away a little over 3 years ago and she shared very little with us about Munzier and her past. She always said she would share more info before she passed away, but she died suddenly and we sadly never got to see that day. What's even more heartbreaking to me now is that my Grandmother, brother & I are the only blood family that my Dad knows, and now with my Grandmother gone it's just my brother & I.

I had tried doing some research and looking for my Grandfather, but trying to find someone with a last name of Abdulhadi over there is like trying to find someone with the last name Smith or Adams here. It's such a common name that there are Abdulhadi Hospital's & Veterinary Clinic's. However, we have a family friend that loves doing Genealogy, and has even helped find my Dad's adopted sister's family. She made a contact and we think we have found Munzier and his family. Some of the family lives in the United Arab Emirates and some still in Jordan. This is SO very exciting for us because even though I grew up with the last name Karstendiek, I always knew it wasn't my "real" last name. It's very obvious that my Dad, brother, & I had more in us then our Karstendiek dutch/german last name would show for.

So here's hoping that my Dad can meet his Dad for the first time and we can meet our Grandfather, or even at least see a picture. Something feels so amazing to know that you have this whole other family on the other side of the world that you didn't know about and they didn't know about you. It's a feeling of connection. I'll blog some updates! :)

The Pattern of Life

2009-02-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

The energy in this world is like a pendulum. Whenever something swings to the right, it must then swing to the left. Everything in existence is involved in a dance... swaying, flowing, swinging back and forth. Everything is either growing or dying.

High tide sweeps in, low tide sweeps out. The moon rises, the moon sets. The seasons come and go. Even our moods and levels of awareness swing back and forth. We have highs and lows... intellectually, emotionally and physically. Everything from relationships to the stock market goes through cycles, yet everything has a rhythm, a pattern. What may sometimes appear to be random is actually very orderly. When something is at its peak, they realize that it will soon start to swing back the other way.

This shows up in everyone's lives, just in the act of going to sleep and waking up. You use it when you get a gut feeling or an intuitive response to whether this is a good time to act or whether you should sit tight and wait. The more deeply you understand this, the more astute you become in assessing situations and knowing what to do.

Remind yourself this week that winter is always followed by spring. There has never been 2 winters in a row... no matter how long. Whatever you are struggling with in your life right now will pass. Spring is right around the corner...

5 Things Happy People Do

2009-02-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

1. They find their most golden self.

Picture happiness. What do you see? A peaceful soul sitting in a field of daisies appreciating the moment? That kind of passive, pleasure-oriented—hedonic—contentment is definitely a component of overall happiness. But researchers now believe that eudaimonic well-being may be more important. Cobbled from the Greek eu ("good") and daimon ("spirit" or "deity"), eudaimonia means striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential—Aristotle considered it to be the noblest goal in life. In his time, the Greeks believed that each child was blessed at birth with a personal daimon embodying the highest possible expression of his or her nature. One way they envisioned the daimon was as a golden figurine that would be revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap pottery (the person's baser exterior). The effort to know and realize one's most golden self—"personal growth," in today's lingo—is now the central concept of eudaimonia, which has also come to include continually taking on new challenges and fulfilling one's sense of purpose in life.

Eudaimonic well-being is much more robust and satisfying than hedonic happiness, and it engages different parts of the brain, the positive emotion accompanying thoughts that are directed toward meaningful goals is one of the most enduring components of well-being. Eudaimonia is also good for the body. Women who scored high on psychological tests for it (they were purposefully engaged in life, pursued self-development) weighed less, slept better, and had fewer stress hormones and markers for heart disease.

2. They design their lives to bring in joy.

It may seem obvious, but people don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy. In a recent study, more than 900 working women to write down everything they'd done the day before. Afterward, they reviewed their diaries and evaluated how they felt at each point. When the women saw how much time they spent on activities they didn't like, some people had tears in their eyes. They didn't realize their happiness was something they could design and have control over.

Analyzing one's life isn't necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions. A high-powered career might, in fact, turn out to be unfulfilling; a committed relationship once longed for could end up being irritating with all the compromising that comes with having a partner. Dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they've turned sour.

Fortunately, changes don't have to be big ones to tip the joy in your favor. If you transfer even an hour of your day from an activity you hate (commuting, scrubbing the bathroom) to one you like (reading, spending time with friends), you should see a significant improvement in your overall happiness. Taking action is key. Another recent study compared college students who made intentional changes (joining a club, upgrading their study habits) with others who passively experienced positive turns in their circumstances (receiving a scholarship, being relieved of a bad roommate). All the students were happier in the short term, but only the group who made deliberate changes stayed that way.

3. They avoid "if only" fantasies.

If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking.

The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their life—it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, "How happy are you with your life in general?" and "How many dates did you have last month?" When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed.

The other argument against "if only" fantasies has to do with "hedonic adaptation"—the brain's natural dimming effect, which guarantees that a new house won't generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase and the thrill of having a boyfriend will ebb as you get used to being part of a couple. Happy people are wise to this, which is why they keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa).

4. They put best friends first.

It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts. Compared with dashing around chatting with acquaintances, you get more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend. And the best-friend benefit doesn't necessarily come from delving into heavy discussions. One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship, Demir found, is simple companionship, "just hanging out," as he says, hitting the mall or going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.

5. They allow themselves to be happy.

As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun.

Some people would say you shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care. The Dalai Lama believes you should pursue both simultaneously. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents. And in one famous study, nuns whose autobiographies expressed positive emotions (such as gratitude and optimism) lived seven to 10-and-a-half years longer than other nuns. So, for any die-hard pessimist who still needs persuading, just think of how much more you can help the world if you allow a little happiness into your life.

Job Hunting in this economy

2009-02-20T10:40:00.000-08:00

It has been so hard for so many people trying to find jobs. I am very guilty of the Craigslist stocking syndrome, you know where you check Craigslist for new job postings first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and about 4 other times through out the day? And it's not just here in Oregon, it's California too. My husband was laid off from his job last winter and hasn't found anything either. We have been working on and off for a friend of ours who owns an Advertising/Marketing company. It's taken us to Canada and working on the Oregon Coast, which was great, but that job too has it's down times and we haven't worked for over 3 weeks.

So what do we do in this down economy? We are forced to become creative. To think of all the ways we can generate income. And this concept hit me at 5am this morning when I went flying out of bed with all these new business ideas taking over my brain. I am an internationally trained and certified Image Consultant who has never put that into full practice. Why? Well I bought a Salon, got married, was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Disease, yada yada yada. Plus, I never wanted to just be an Image Consultant. I always wanted to be an Image & Lifestyle Consultant. Someone who helps people find harmony in all areas of their life, not just their physical appearance. There is so much more then just our physical appearance. I personally have had to love me regardless of my shape, for any of you that know about Hypothyroidism and PCOS you know that the metabolism isn't in your favor. It's been a self-esteem roller coaster but having been so many different sizes I can relate to that many more people.

Because of this down economy, I'm creating my ideal business. I'm going to continue my Craigslist stocking, but I'm also going to keep creating. And whether or not this actually comes to fruition, at least I'm expanding my conscious. What about you? What are you passionate about? What are your strengths? What do you love to do? What do you want to give and share to people and this world? If you could do anything without money or time being any kind of object what would it be? Maybe this is the time to really think about those things. Who knows, maybe in the bigger picture, this is the reason for things being the way that they are and we're supposed be doing just that.

Acupuncture

2009-02-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love it! For those who have not tried it should. Not only is it wonderful for healing the body, it's also extremely relaxing. I was going once a week as a part of my treatment plan for PCOS, however, I have not gone in about 2 months. And I'll tell ya, my eyebrows have been squinting quite a bit from stress and all I keep thinking about is the acupuncture needle that I usually get right between my eyebrows for relaxation and tension relief and how I could sure use one right now!

It has been a stressful time these past few weeks. Anytime things seem slow moving I always feel "stuck". I truly dislike the feeling of being "stuck". I'm such a forward moving kind of girl that when things do feel "stuck" I get kind of down in the dumps. I always feel like I could be doing something more. So in my crazy way I start trying to do more but then feel like I get no where and then I become kind of crazy about it. Oh the joy. Then you add my husband to the mix. He is a much better person when he is being productive, and I'm a much better person when I'm utilizing my strengths and working towards my purpose. So when we're both feeling "stuck", oh my goodness, we are two people going crazy! But we love each other and just need to embrace this time and trust that this is exactly where we are supposed to be at this very moment.

So amen to that! I'm going to book myself an Acupuncture appointment ASAP to avoid giving myself a deeper wrinkle in between my eyebrows.

I Pledge...

2009-01-21T10:46:00.000-08:00

How exciting was yesterday? What a day to remember. What a day to be able to tell my children about. I have never been into politics because it seemed like such a negative conversation. Always a controversy. It seemed like such a silly thing to get so worked up about. In fact, so sad to say this, but the one and only time I have ever voted before this year, was during the John Kerry/George Bush election year. Everything political has always been a blur to me and something I have chosen to ignore and not get involved with. Until this year. This year seemed different. Something was inspiring. Never had I watched an election night crying my eyes out with these beautiful feelings of hope inside me. Watching everyone else around the US in the millions react the same way I was. Everyone could tell that something was different. The air was different. Never in my life had I witnessed the community-like feel amongst us all across the U.S. People were ready for change. With a 78% approval rate, they wanted the change to come. And they knew, on election night, that change was about to come.

With the economy as bad as it is it seemed like a cry for help for so many. I'm miss Self-Help book junkie just for my own personal continued growth and transformation, but these past few years, Self-Help book sales are through the roof. The highest they have ever been. Everyone is reaching out. Reaching out for something more. And I truly think that this economic downfall has been a blessing in disguise. People are getting rid of their nannies because they can't afford them, well how beautiful is that that you get to spend more time with your kids. People are eating out less and making more dinners at home, it's so much healthier to make your own food at home then it is to eat out. When gas prices completely inflated more people were riding their bikes and taking public transportation, not just great for your health but great for the environment.

So with my new found inspiration for our Country, I want to do my part. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore were on Oprah the other day and they said they wanted to do their part by starting a Presidential Pledge. The video below is just that. Obama has asked us all for help, to do our part, or to just make one small change. If each one of us makes one small change the impact as a whole will be tremendous. And for those of you who voted for McCain or didn't want Obama for President, do what Gandhi says "be the change you wish to see in the world".

I'm inspired to do my part. So here is my pledge:

I pledge...

to use only paper bags at the grocery store instead of plastic if I forget my re-usable bag.

to continue expanding myself as an individual so I can be the best version of myself I can be.

to be of better service to people, not just strangers, but to my friends and family.

to give one compliment a day.

to smile at one stranger a day.

to volunteer atleast once a month, no matter what.

to stay true to myself.

Everyone should pledge to do just one thing different. Pass it on.

Eggnog Lattes....

2008-12-01T20:18:00.001-08:00

I hate them. I know, I'm probably the only one that doesn't start jumping up and down when those little red Starbucks cups appear silently announcing the eggnog latte arrival.

My reason for writing about this is because it was a gorgeous day here in Calgary and Nate & I were walking around downtown checking out the Calgary Tower. I stopped by a Starbucks to order a double tall nonfat hazelnut latte, which is a rare order but something that I get a craving for once in a great while. However, the lady behind the counter thought I said double tall nonfat EGGNOG latte. Of course I didn't realize this until I was about 2 blocks away and I really didn't want to make a big stink about it. I just figured okay, I'll have an eggnog latte, that was until I attempted to drink it. I don't know what it is about eggnog but it just grosses me out. And the more I tried to just drink it, the more I would psych myself out and think about rotten fermented eggs. Even the smell gets to me. It smells like yolks that have been sitting in a container in the warm sun for like 3 weeks. I'm getting gross chills just thinking about it. And the thickness, blahh, I can't even talk about this anymore.

I just needed to vent my feelings about eggnog because Miss Nikki Krause is NOT a fan.

Do Hazelnut & Eggnog really sound that similar?

Young Talent

2008-11-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

I came across this very young talented group called PS22 Chorus. They are a group of 70 children ranging from ages 5 and up from New York who do these amazing renditions of current songs. They are so good it abosolutely leaves me with such an aww feeling when watching some of their videos on Youtube. Not to mention they are adorable. They have a blog which I posted a link to under Blogs I like to read. Here are two of my faves:

Tori Amos 1000 Oceans

Coldplay Viva La Vida

The Top 20 Things Oprah Knows for Sure

2008-11-03T22:41:00.001-08:00

Since the day the late Gene Siskel asked me, "What do you know for sure?" and I got all flustered and started stuttering and couldn't come up with an answer, I've never stopped asking myself that question. And every month I must find yet another answer. Some months I feel I hardly know a thing, and I'm always pressed to make the deadline for this column. This time around, in honor of our tribute to the subject, I looked back and came up with my all-time top 20:

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

99 Balloons

2008-11-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

I saw this video on Oprah and just lost it along with her & everyone else. Truly very touching, I had to post it.

"Eliot was born with an undeveloped lung, a heart with a hole in it and DNA that placed faulty information into each and every cell of his body. However, that could not stop the living God from proclaiming Himself through this boy who never uttered a word."

Sitting at a Starbucks & waiting for the power to come back on at my house...

2008-10-31T13:38:00.000-07:00

Oh the joy of living in the country. There's the pros & cons like with anything in life. You live in the beautiful country where you don't hear the ambulance driving past your house knowing that there is someone in there who is probably in pain, you don't hear your neighbors running up & down the stairs, and you don't get the joy of seeing what kind of people have been attracted to your part of town in trendy NW 23rd. Let me say though, that it was always interesting. I so love being in walking distance to everything too, and I just adore the tree lined streets of NW. And I actually miss my ritual of saying a little prayer for the ambulance passing by. But I can't complain. It's gorgeous where I live and it's a constant reminder to cherish the little things in life. Like the way the sun hits certain trees at different times of the day. Or how you can sit outside and only hear the birds or even sometimes the coyotes, (yes, that's scary for me), sometimes just plain nothing. And on a crystal clear night, the stars are so bright because it doesn't have the city lights disrupting their brightness. The only thing that could be somewhat disrupting is the brightness of the moon. It's amazing, especially a harvest moon.

Living in the country has showed me where I am in my life right now. Ever changing. I watch the cycle of the leaves changing color and I'm reminded how we are so one with nature. We are ever changing beings, always displaying different colors. Always striving to be better. Always looking for peace, love, & happiness. Looking for God to guide us from one color to the next. Looking to be surrounded by beatiful & inspring people, whether in the form of a husband/wife or a friend. And learning the definition of faith & trust. Sometimes it's so easy to get completely wrapped up in our heads and try to do do do, but what we really need to do is just BE. Give in and embrace the ever changing being and colors that come with us and from us.

Being present in this moment to just BE is usually very hard for me, it's something I'm always working on. But today it's not. The rain has stopped and the sun is out. It's gorgeous.

Like Maya Angelou said:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward
to retelling it in her old age....

Here's to change and good stories...

Firing Your Friends--When to let go of unhealthy friendships

2008-10-29T13:01:00.001-07:00

A strong, healthy friendship enriches your life. It doesn't overburden you, make unreasonable demands on your time or make you suffer. While it's important to treasure your good friends - to make time for them, listen, laugh and cry together - it's just as important to know when it's time to cut the umbilical cord.

Sometimes, we stay in friendships long past their expiration dates out of comfort and habit. We feel that because someone has always been in our lives, he or she is a "friend." But that isn't necessarily the case. If you've been wondering why you're feeling resentful of someone or questioning whether or not a so-called friend is really worth your investment, here's a litmus test for letting go.

Ask yourself does he or she...

--consistently hurt your feelings?
--chip away at your self-esteem?
--spoil happy times with a bad attitude?
--make you feel physically or emotionally ill?
--waste your time by not showing up or calling when they said they would?
--consume your time and energy by sucking you into their dramas and bad habits?
--demand too much of your time and or try to limit your contact with others?
--offer friendship only at their convenience and express little interest in what's going on in your life?
--get in the way of your personal, emotional and spiritual growth?

If you found yourself saying yes to many - or most - of those questions, it may be time to end the relationship.

How to let go
The key to getting out of any bad relationship is being open about its problems. If you address the situation, you'll save yourself a great deal of emotional pain and suffering, AND - here's a bonus - you may actually be able to salvage the friendship in the long run.

Start out by being honest about your feelings, but avoid accusations. Listen, but also pay attention to the things your friend doesn't say. Then, even if it's temporary, gradually disengage yourself. Speak less on the phone and see each other less frequently. This will give you the space to see things clearly, and allow your friend to digest your discussion.

Once things are out in the open, there's only one approach you can take: wait and see what happens. Your friend's behavior will tell you if the relationship is salvageable or if you really do need to leave the relationship behind.

Whatever happens, know that, like all things in life, friendships ebb and flow. Even the best ones aren't always easy, and only you can gauge whether or not a particular friendship is worth your while. But when you stand up for yourself in an unhealthy relationship, you exercise respect for yourself. And by letting go of unhealthy attachments, you're being a good friend to yourself!

Some wise words from Maya Anglou

2008-10-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear
if the employer, or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward
to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill,
and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh
and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend,
without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
how to live alone, even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table,
or a charming Inn in the woods,
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month... and a year...

AND REMEMBER...
Be yourself...everyone else is
already taken.

Project Runway Winner is our very own Portland Girl

2008-10-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

I knew it the whole time. Leanne Marshall made it to Bryant Park and it was obvious through out the whole show. Her designs were consistent and the line she created for the finale was perfect. I can't wait to see her take Portland fashion to a new level. Congrats Leanne!

Reason Season Lifetime

2008-10-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

People come and go through out our whole lives. Relationships end, people move on and start new ones. Sometimes friendships grow fainter and what used to be your best friend or close friend is no longer and you may not know why. We don't always know why, but I read this piece written by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker a few years ago and it changed my perspective on frienships/realtionships whether good or bad, ending or starting.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Maybe you can read this and make more sense of some situation in your life. I know I do. Reading this helps me stay in a place of feeling continued love, peace, and gratitude. Even when it seems impossible.

Project Runway...

2008-10-08T23:40:00.002-07:00

How exciting to have Leanne Marshall making it to Bryant Park. So very excited for her. She gives Portland a good name. And I'm so bummed out that Tim Gunn was here in Portland visiting her and I didn't even know it until I watched the show tonight. I would have emailed him in hopes of meeting up for some Stumptown Coffee. :)

If anyone is intersted in finding out about our own Leanne Marshall and her line Leanimal you can check out her website www.leanimal.com

Go Leanne, we'll all be cheering for you!

P.S. If you haven't seen her line, you must, it's gorgeous.

Sometimes the Motivator needs Motivating

2008-10-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

Just like sometimes the inspiring need inspiration. It's amazing and a blessing when you have been given the gift to inspire others and be motivating to others, but sometimes we need a little bit of that ourselves. This week has been that kind of week for me.

Do you ever notice how it's always the motivating & inspiring ones that people try to bring down. Why is that? Is it fear? Ego? Jealousy? A desire to make themselves appear special? It's actually all of the above. When one tries to sabotage another they are just motivated by the fear of their own ego. Fear and ego are perfect soulmates too. They feed off of eachother. In fact, anytime we feel any negative emotion--anger, guilt, hostility, envy, greed--the source is always fear.

My current book read has been Let Go, The Art of Spiritual Surrender. It is the most perfect book for me to be reading right now too because it is very spot on with where I am in my life. There are difficult situations and circumstances that are reoccurring, and they are completely out of my control. So I have had to practice the art of Spiritual Surrender, which is simply a formula of Pray, Let Go, Listen. Easier said than done, I can assure you :). In fact I can't read fast enough! Just when things seem peaceful or life is good and moving in a great direction, someone comes along to try and push you off path. Again. What's really difficult is when it's the same people. But I have to look to God and trust that these inconveniences, trials, and hurt feelings will strengthen me. And He knows exactly what's up. In spite of someones awful words and put downs, I know what kind of an amazing person I am. I know I have a big heart filled with love. And I know that I am here to do some amazing things before my time is up.

But can I just say that as a woman who feeds off of inspiring things and motivating people, the more you get beat down, the harder it is to keep getting up and brushing your shoulders off. You know? This week, I didn't want to get up. I wanted to be like my dear friend Gina Johnson and just sulk and be negative. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up. Why? Because I just did, I'm human and it seems easier. And you know what I realized? That I needed someone to motivate me. I wanted someone to inspire me. So where do the motivating go for motivation? I haven't figured that out yet. But when I do, I promise to Blog about it.

In the meantime I have my Pray, Let Go, Listen strategy. I have my practice of Spiritual Surrender which is not about defeat, it's about acceptance, joy and faith. It's about ending the struggle in our lives and beginning our journey on a path more wonderful then we could imagine. It's like bodysurfing--letting the body flow with the waves instead of fighting them. The ocean will always bring you safely back to shore. God, the Universe, is the ocean that will bring us safely home in any situation.

"Pray not for lighter burdens but for stronger backs"
--Theodore Roosevelt

"The supreme Art of War is to subdue the enemy without fighting"
--Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Discover Real Power in Your Life

2008-09-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

Every time you lose control to anger, fear, jealousy and rage, you allow those feelings to have power over you. When you allow yourself to feel those emotions, instead of just "acting out," you can start to recreate authentic power.

Creating Authentic Power

Step One: Whenever you are feeling a painful feeling, stop and become aware of what you are feeling.

Step Two: Remind yourself that the thoughts and feelings you're experiencing are coming from a part of you that's frightened by the thought that you're not good enough.

Step Three: Ask yourself: "Do I want my decisions to be made by a part of me that is frightened?"

Step Four: Ask yourself: "What would I do in this situation if I were compassionate and wise?"

There is learning potential in every decision you make, as well as consequences. You must accept the responsibility for every one of your decisions.

Getting Past Your Fears by Michael Losier

2008-09-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

Fear manifests itself in many different ways, and it will always get in the way of allowing the law of attraction to work for you, Michael says. He identifies some of the most common types of fear and how to overcome each one:

Fear of "What if it doesn't work for me?": This fear, like all fears, is about something in the future, Michael says. Because it hasn't happened yet, it's a fear that is false, even though it appears to be real, he says. To overcome this fear, change your thoughts from "What if it doesn't work?" to "This is the way I'd like things to be." "If you're going to project something in the future, project a more positive image or a more positive thought or a more positive outcome," he says

Fear of success: People often fear the change that success will bring, not success itself, Michael says. Pay attention to your fearful thoughts and reset them by eliminating the words "don't," "not,'" and "no" and setting forth thoughts of what you do want instead.

Fear of "This is really different from what I grew up with": Challenging long-held beliefs can be scary, Michael says. "A belief is a repetitive thought," he says. "It doesn't mean it's right; it just means that you've repeated it so much so that it becomes your belief," he says. Michael says you can change your beliefs by asking yourself whether the belief is true. For example, if you've always believed everyone in your family was overweight, Michael suggests you find proof or evidence that members of the same family can be of varied weights.

Louise Hay, Always There When I Need Her

2008-08-25T00:57:00.000-07:00

If any of you know who Louise Hay is you know what I'm talking about. The woman is awesome and oh so inspiring. She is an 80yr. old beautiful woman who not only has battled cancer with a smile on her face, she has been changing people's lives since 1970. She wrote the ever famous book Heal Your Body, which is nothing short of amazing, and recently put out the phenomenal movie/book You Can Heal Your Life. She very much believes in the connection between mind & body, as do I, making her books filled with tons of positive affirmations for every body-disabling you could think of.

With my new found PCOS, of course I go to my large book shelves filled with all my fabulous Self Help books to reference Heal Your Body and You Can Heal Your Life, but I can't find a darn thing on PCOS. So I have collaborated a few things to give me some great positive affirmations to speak of on a regular basis.

Here are a few:

Ovaries- Represent point of creation. Creativity.
Affirmation- "I am balanced in my creative flow."

Diabetes- Longing for what might have been. Deep sorrow.
Affirmation- "This moment is filled with joy. I now choose to experience the sweetness of today."

Female Problems- Denial of the self.
Affirmation- "I rejoice in my femaleness. I love being a woman. I love my body."

Cysts- Running an old painful movie.
Affirmation- "The movies of my mind are beautiful because I choose to make them so. I love me."

These were the closest I could find for relating to PCOS. But here are a few general one's that I try to say on a regular basis, but of course it's not until times like these that I get more religious about it.

"I listen with love to my body's messages."

"All is well in my world."

"I know that no matter what is going on in my life, no matter how difficult things may be, at the very center of my being, I am safe and I am whole. I always will be."

"Every hand that touches me is a healing hand."

"Life supports me in every possible way."

"I realize that stress is only fear. I now release all fears."

"Opportunities are everywhere."

"The perfect job is looking for me, and we are being brought together now."

"My joy allows me to express my talents and abilities, and I am grateful for that."

"I attract only healthy relationships in my life."

"I rejoice in the love I encounter everyday."

"I delight in the financial security that is always in my life."

"Life supplies all my needs in great abundance. I trust life."

"I am at Peace."

And this isn't part of Louise Hay's books, but I love re-reading Romans 14 out of The Message.

The affirmations I say continue to change depending on what's going on in my life. It's amazing what speaking a little something inspiring can do to the soul. Even if I'm in a grumpy mood or I don't feel well, just reading it makes me feel better. One of Louise's books called Inner Wisdom I keep on my bed stand and randomly open up to a page every night before bed and first thing in the morning. It puts me to sleep with good thoughts and starts my day off just right. In fact I'm currently listening to the movie right now and just hearing people speak good things makes me feel good. For those of you that know me, you know I'm all about the positive energy :). Have FAITH & TRUST.

If anyone would like me to look up something for them I am more then happy to. Just leave me a comment and I'll respond.

Are You There, Clarity? It's Me, Nikki

2008-08-23T00:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here this late evening with mixed emotions. I feel part happy/relieved & part sad/numb. My Doctor confirmed my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome today. After a long morning appt. with an Internal Medicine Doctor and alot of blood work, he sent me to a PCOS Specialist, who was conveniently located one floor down, in the afternoon. Once I got into the Specialist office he took one look at me and said "I hate to be the one that breaks this to you, but there is no doubt that you have PCOS", I thought to myself "wow, do I look that bad?". I guess us folk have the obvious physical symptoms or "look". He put me on a diabetic medication immediately to try and start getting the Insulin Resistance under control and in about a month I will be on something else to balance out the hormones, Thank You Jesus! My husband thanks you too :).

This next month will be a very busy one at the Docs office as this is just the beginning. There is no end to PCOS, just control. I will be at the Docs for 3 hours Monday morning doing more blood work filled with drinking some lovely nasty stuff after fasting for 14 hours, and then I will be going in for an Ultrasound within the next week or two to not just check for Cyst's, but Tumors. Yes, my Specialist thinks I may have Tumors on my Ovaries due to my severe symptoms. Once my Doctor has all of the blood work back and knows exactly where we stand, we'll go from there.

I feel relieved somewhat to know what has been going on with my body. It isn't just my Thyroid. (Great news about that, my Thyroid levels came back normal which means that the medication I have been on is working so no need to come off of it). I also feel that I am in really good hands with these Doctors. They are working as a team with my best interest at heart. I have found more information out about my body in one full day at their office than I have in probably 8 years. They're honest with no sugar coating, and they don't waste time in diddle daddling with other methods of this or that, they go straight to the source to get the job done.

What does all this mean for me? Well a drastic lifestyle change is first and foremost. And this isn't a temporary change, THIS IS FOREVER. Thank goodness I have the healthy eating part down, however, I will have to be way more consistent with it. I will also have to be more consistent with working out. We're active people, but let the busyness of life get in our way. No more of that! I am at high risk right now, which is part of what their fear is with the possible Tumors. So it's very very important that I do everything on my end. I'm basically an Infertile-Diabetic-with-Cysts-and-a-severe-hormonal-imbalance. Nice huh? :)

Even if I tried to have children at this point in my life, there is no way that I could because PCOS causes Infertility. That's such a hard thing for me to think about, not ever being able to see what our child could/would look like. But, if I ever want the possibility of living a somewhat normal life in a normal body and the possibility of having my own child then I need to take drastic measures to get this under control. I'm motivated too. I want to prove that I can get my PCOS so under control that I won't need fertility drugs to try and get pregnant, or I won't have to be on diabetic medication for the rest of my life. Today I feel drained, but I know the more and more I find out, the more and more motivated I'll get about taking on this disease and having it so under control that there are little to no side effects. My Doctor even told me that I was a very motivating individual and that I should continue to work with woman and their self-esteem considering I have been on both ends.

I know God is giving me this challenge for a reason. He knows that I will come out stronger. He knows that if anyone can take on this life challenge, it's me. And I'm ready for it. I always tell my husband it's just another thing for me to write about in my book someday. The more wisdom I have, the better it will be ;). Who knows, maybe I'll be that one person who raises PCOS awareness, or better yet, finds a cure.

Funny Drunk Guy & DUI Test

2008-08-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

I have to post this because it makes me laugh like crazy every time I watch it :)

Polycstic Ovary Disease

2008-08-14T01:04:00.001-07:00

After a 9 year battle with Cyst's bursting here and there and a 5 year battle with Hypothyroidism, my doctor revealed to me yesterday that they think that I have Polycystic Ovary Disease. I have all of the symptoms for it. Every single one. Which makes me feel partly relieved for the sake of finally knowing what has been up with my body, (the weight gain, the excessive facial hair, the fatigue and abdomen discomfort), but after doing my research I have to say that I'm sad. It's something that 1 in 10 woman have and unfortunately there is no cure for. There isn't even a specific test to test for PCOS, they go off of your symtoms and check things like your glucose levels and blood cell count. Here is some info about PCOS. I urge any of you who may have any of the symptoms to get in right away and speak with your doctor. If you do not become aware of the disease so you can get it under control you have a very high risk of Cancer of the Uterus, High Blood Pressure, 7 times higher risk of a Heart Attack, Diabetes before you're 40, and Infertility.

What is polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
Polycystic (pah-lee-SIS-tik) ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a health problem that can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, ability to have children, hormones, heart, blood vessels, and appearance. With PCOS, women typically have:

high levels of androgens (AN-druh-junz). These are sometimes called male hormones, although females also make them.
missed or irregular periods
many small cysts (sists) in their ovaries. Cysts are fluid-filled sacs.
How many women have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
About one in ten women of childbearing age has PCOS. It can occur in girls as young as 11 years old. PCOS is the most common cause of female infertility (not being able to get pregnant).

What causes polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
The cause of PCOS is unknown. Most researchers think that more than one factor could play a role in developing PCOS. Genes are thought to be one factor. Women with PCOS tend to have a mother or sister with PCOS. Researchers also think insulin could be linked to PCOS. Insulin is a hormone that controls the change of sugar, starches, and other food into energy for the body to use or store. For many women with PCOS, their bodies have problems using insulin so that too much insulin is in the body. Excess insulin appears to increase production of androgen. This hormone is made in fat cells, the ovaries, and the adrenal gland. Levels of androgen that are higher than normal can lead to acne, excessive hair growth, weight gain, and problems with ovulation.

Does polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) run in families?
Most researchers think that PCOS runs in families. Women with PCOS tend to have a mother or sister with PCOS. Still, there is no proof that PCOS is inherited.

What are the symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
Not all women with PCOS share the same symptoms. These are some of the symptoms of PCOS:

infrequent menstrual periods, no menstrual periods, and/or irregular bleeding
infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of not ovulating
increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes—a condition called hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um)
ovarian cysts
acne, oily skin, or dandruff
weight gain or obesity, usually carrying extra weight around the waist
insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes
high cholesterol
high blood pressure
male-pattern baldness or thinning hair
patches of thickened and dark brown or black skin on the neck, arms, breasts, or thighs
skin tags, or tiny excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area
pelvic pain
anxiety or depression due to appearance and/or infertility
sleep apnea—excessive snoring and times when breathing stops while asleep

Why do women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) have trouble with their menstrual cycle?
The ovaries are two small organs, one on each side of a woman's uterus. A woman's ovaries have follicles, which are tiny sacs filled with liquid that hold the eggs. These sacs also are called cysts. Each month about 20 eggs start to mature, but usually only one matures fully. As this one egg grows, the follicle accumulates fluid in it. When that egg matures, the follicle breaks open to release it. The egg then travels through the fallopian tube for fertilization. When the single egg leaves the follicle, ovulation takes place.

In women with PCOS, the ovary doesn't make all of the hormones it needs for any of the eggs to fully mature. Follicles may start to grow and build up fluid. But no one follicle becomes large enough. Instead, some follicles may remain as cysts. Since no follicle becomes large enough and no egg matures or is released, ovulation does not occur and the hormone progesterone is not made. Without progesterone, a woman's menstrual cycle is irregular or absent. Plus, the cysts make male hormones, which also prevent ovulation.

Does polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) change at menopause?
Yes and no. Because PCOS affects many systems in the body, many symptoms persist even though ovarian function and hormone levels change as a woman nears menopause. For instance, excessive hair growth continues, and male pattern baldness or thinning hair gets worse after menopause. Also, the risks of complications from PCOS, such as heart attack, stroke and diabetes, increase as a woman gets older.

What tests are used to diagnose polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
There is no single test to diagnose PCOS. Your doctor will take a medical history, perform a physical exam, and possibly take some tests to rule out other causes of your symptoms. During the physical exam the doctor will want to measure your blood pressure, body mass index (BMI), and waist size. He or she also will check out the areas of increased hair growth, so try to allow the natural hair growth for a few days before the visit. Your doctor might want to do a pelvic exam to see if your ovaries are enlarged or swollen by the increased number of small cysts. A vaginal ultrasound also might be used to examine the ovaries for cysts and check out the endometrium, the lining of the uterus. The uterine lining may become thicker if your periods are not regular. You also might have blood taken to check your hormone levels and to measure glucose (sugar) levels.

How is polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) treated?
Because there is no cure for PCOS, it needs to be managed to prevent problems. Treatment goals are based on your symptoms, whether or not you want to become pregnant, and lowering your chances of getting heart disease and diabetes. Many women will need a combination of treatments to meet these goals. Some treatments for PCOS include:

Birth control pills. For women who don't want to become pregnant, birth control pills can control menstrual cycles, reduce male hormone levels, and help to clear acne. However, the menstrual cycle will become abnormal again if the pill is stopped. Women may also think about taking a pill that only has progesterone, like Provera®, to control the menstrual cycle and reduce the risk of endometrial cancer. (See Does polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) put women at risk for other health problems?) But progesterone alone does not help reduce acne and hair growth.

Diabetes medications. The medicine metformin (Glucophage®) is used to treat type 2 diabetes. It also has been found to help with PCOS symptoms, although it is not FDA-approved for this use. Metformin affects the way insulin controls blood glucose (sugar) and lowers testosterone production. Abnormal hair growth will slow down, and ovulation may return after a few months of use. Recent research has shown metformin to have other positive effects, such as decreased body mass and improved cholesterol levels. Metformin will not cause a person to become diabetic.

Fertility medications. Lack of ovulation is usually the reason for fertility problems in women with PCOS. Several medications that stimulate ovulation can help women with PCOS become pregnant. Even so, other reasons for infertility in both the woman and man should be ruled out before fertility medications are used. Also, there is an increased risk for multiple births (twins, triplets) with fertility medications. For most patients, clomiphene citrate (Clomid®, Serophene®) is the first choice therapy to stimulate ovulation. If this fails, metformin taken with clomiphene is usually tried. When metformin is taken along with fertility medications, it may help women with PCOS ovulate on lower doses of medication. Gonadotropins (goe-NAD-oh-troe-pins) also can be used to stimulate ovulation. These are given as shots. But gonadotropins are more expensive and there are greater chances of multiple births compared to clomiphene. Another option is in vitro fertilization (IVF). IVF offers the best chance of becoming pregnant in any one cycle and gives doctors better control over the chance of multiple births. But, IVF is very costly.

Medicine for increased hair growth or extra male hormones. Medicines called anti-androgens may reduce hair growth and clear acne. Spironolactone (speer-on-oh-lak-tone) (Aldactone®), first used to treat high blood pressure, has been shown to reduce the impact of male hormones on hair growth in women. Finasteride (Propecia®), a medicine taken by men for hair loss, has the same effect. Anti-androgens often are combined with oral contraceptives.

Before taking Aldactone®, tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. Do not breastfeed while taking this medicine. Women who may become pregnant should not handle Propecia®.

Vaniqa® cream also reduces facial hair in some women. Other treatments such as laser hair removal or electrolysis work well at getting rid of hair in some women. A woman with PCOS can also take hormonal treatment to keep new hair from growing.

Surgery. "Ovarian drilling" is a surgery that brings on ovulation. It is sometimes used when a woman does not respond to fertility medicines. The doctor makes a very small cut above or below the navel and inserts a small tool that acts like a telescope into the abdomen. This is called laparoscopy. The doctor then punctures the ovary with a small needle carrying an electric current to destroy a small portion of the ovary. This procedure carries a risk of developing scar tissue on the ovary. This surgery can lower male hormone levels and help with ovulation. But these effects may only last a few months. This treatment doesn't help with loss of scalp hair and increased hair growth on other parts of the body.

Lifestyle modification. Keeping a healthy weight by eating healthy foods and exercising is another way women can help manage PCOS. Many women with PCOS are overweight or obese. Eat fewer processed foods and foods with added sugars and more whole-grain products, fruits, vegetables, and lean meats to help lower blood sugar (glucose) levels, improve the body's use of insulin, and normalize hormone levels in your body. Even a 10 percent loss in body weight can restore a normal period and make a woman's cycle more regular.

How does polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) affect a woman while pregnant?
There appears to be higher rates of miscarriage, gestational diabetes, pregnancy-induced high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia), and premature delivery in women with PCOS. Researchers are studying how the diabetes medicine metformin can prevent or reduce the chances of having these problems while pregnant. Metformin also lowers male hormone levels and limits weight gain in women who are obese when they get pregnant.

Metformin is a FDA pregnancy category B drug. It does not appear to cause major birth defects or other problems in pregnant women. But, there have been no studies of metformin on pregnant women to confirm its safety. Talk to your doctor about taking metformin during pregnancy or if you are trying to become pregnant. Also, metformin is passed through milk in breastfeeding mothers. Talk with your doctor about metformin use if you are a nursing mother.

Does polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) put women at risk for other health problems?
Women with PCOS have greater chances of developing several serious, life-threatening diseases, including type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease (CVD), and cancer. Recent studies found that:

More than 50 percent of women with PCOS will have diabetes or pre-diabetes (impaired glucose tolerance) before the age of 40.
Women with PCOS have a four to seven times higher risk of heart attack than women of the same age without PCOS.
Women with PCOS are at greater risk of having high blood pressure.
Women with PCOS have high levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol and low levels of HDL (good) cholesterol.
The chance of getting endometrial cancer is another concern for women with PCOS. Irregular menstrual periods and the absence of ovulation cause women to produce the hormone estrogen, but not the hormone progesterone. Progesterone causes the endometrium to shed its lining each month as a menstrual period. Without progesterone, the endometrium becomes thick, which can cause heavy bleeding or irregular bleeding. Over time, this can lead to endometrial hyperplasia, when the lining grows too much, and cancer.

I have PCOS. What can I do to prevent complications?
Getting your symptoms under control at an earlier age can help to reduce your chances of having complications like diabetes and heart disease. Talk to your doctor about treating all your symptoms, rather than focusing on just one aspect of your PCOS, such as problems getting pregnant. Also, talk to our doctor about getting tested for diabetes regularly. Eating right, exercising, and not smoking also will help to reduce your chances of having other health problems.

How can I cope with the emotional affects of PCOS?
Having PCOS can be difficult. Many women are embarrassed by their appearance. Others may worry about being able to get pregnant. Some women with PCOS might get depressed. Getting treatment for PCOS can help with these concerns and help boost a woman's self-esteem. Support groups located across the United States and on-line also can help women with PCOS deal with the emotional affects.

Beautiful by India Arie

2008-08-11T00:38:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I'm listening to India and right after I posted I Choose, I realized how much I love Beautiful as well.

Enjoy this one too :)

Beautiful by India Arie

The time is right
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shinning
And I want to live inside the glow
Yeah

I wanna go to a place where I am nothing and everything
That exists between here and nowhere
I wanna got to a place where time has no consequences oh yeah
The sky opens to my prayers

I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

Please understand that its not that I don't care
But right know these walls are closing in on me
I love you more than I love life itself

But I need to find a place were I can breathe
I can breathe
I wanna go to aplace where I can hold the intangible
And let go of the pain with all my might

I wanna go to a place where I am suspended in ecstasy
Some where between dark and light
Where wrong becomes right

I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

I Choose by India Arie

2008-08-11T00:26:00.001-07:00

I absolutely love the words to this song so I thought I would post them.

Enjoy,
N :)

I Choose by India Arie

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

And I choose to be the best that I can be.
I choose to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

And I choose to be the best that I can be.
I choose to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man.
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown, 'from this day forward, every decision
I make will be my own.

And I choose to be the best that I can be.
I choose to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

And I choose to be the best that I can be.
I choose to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

10 Ways To Think Yourself Thinner

2008-08-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
—Winston Churchill

10 Ways to Think Yourself Thinner
By Cecilia H. Lee

There are no substitutes for eating healthily and regular exercise, but experts say that your frame of mind and your attitude can make a huge difference to your weight loss success. Of course, we're not suggesting hypnosis or any of that silly voodoo. We're talking about cutting out the "mental fat"—the negative thoughts and emotional baggage we carry around that keep us from being able to shed the physical fat.

It's easy for us to make excuses for not getting healthier. Whether it be emotional problems, work-related stresses, or family pressures, something will always get in the way of eating better and making time to exercise.

Just as losing weight and getting healthier won't happen overnight, improving your thought process will take time as well. Be patient with yourself and work at it a little bit at a time. Below we've outlined 10 methods you can use to help you think better, smarter, healthier, and thinner!

1. Visualize yourself thin. Imagine how you'll look 6 to 12 months down the line. If you have old pictures of your thinner self, dig them out and put them up in a prominent place (like the refrigerator or on a bulletin board in your office). Remember how you felt back then. What habits did you have then that allowed you to be healthier? See if you can incorporate your better habits from the past back into your lifestyle now.

Remember to see yourself in a positive light. Having a positive attitude and being happy with yourself will be helpful in achieving your health goals.

2. Make a list. List specific reasons why you want to lose weight. Perhaps you want to be more attractive to a certain someone, maybe you want to be able to fit into your old clothes again, or maybe you'd just like to have more energy. Whatever your personal reasons, great or small, write them all down on an index card. Look at your list every morning and carry it around in your wallet or purse. On the back of the card, write down motivating phrases to give yourself encouragement.

Think about activities you wish you could do that you can't do because of your weight. If you can, cut out a picture of that activity from a magazine and hang it near your desk (or somewhere else that's visible), so that you'll have something to look forward to.

3. Identify self-sabotaging thoughts. Pay attention to your negative thoughts. We all have them. They may be something like "This is too difficult," "I'll never be able to lose this much weight," or "I'm too tired." You can't stop them from entering your head but you can learn to respond to them constructively.

Don't be overly critical of yourself—focusing on your negative aspects while minimizing your positive ones. Just because you feel or believe something doesn't actually make it true. Of course, there are no wrong or bad emotions, but identifying why something makes you feel bad can help prevent those situations in the future. If you get in the habit of identifying your self-sabotaging thoughts, you can nip them in the bud before they blow up into an ugly depression.

4. Distract yourself from cravings. Create a list of things you can do to distract yourself from tempting food. Perhaps you can read a book, flip through a magazine, or play a video game. Or better yet, go for a walk or pop in an exercise DVD. The next time a craving comes up, do one or two things on your list. You may have to do more, but eventually the craving will pass. Cravings will pass 100 percent of the time.

5. Create small goals for yourself. Write down a list of tiny things you can do to improve your lifestyle. We all know that it's difficult to make huge changes to our lifestyles. So try accomplishing smaller goals. Try doing some of the activities listed below.

~Take a 30-minute walk in the afternoon.

~Eat one more serving of fruits or vegetables today.

~Forgo that soda or glass of wine and just have a tall glass of ice water.

~Order a side salad instead of those french fries.

6. Replace old habits with new ones. It's easier to replace an old habit with a new habit than it is to break an old one altogether. For instance, if you have a sandwich every day for lunch, choose low-fat turkey on wheat and skip the mayonnaise. Have plain or sparkling water instead of a regular sugared or diet soda. If you like to have an afternoon snack, grab an apple or a handful of your favorite nuts instead of a candy bar. There are so many ways you can replace even entrenched bad habits with healthier good ones. Be creative and have fun with it.

7. Keep a journal. Get a little notebook and keep a log of your weight. This way you can determine what is and isn't working and track the progress you make. Also, write down what you eat. Keeping track of the foods you eat will help show patterns. You may not have realized that you eat ice cream right out of the freezer every night after dinner, but your journal will keep you honest. Just knowing that you're going to write down what you've been eating may keep you from reaching for that extra serving of mashed potatoes.

8. Plan for the future. Every night before you go to bed, plan for the next day. Whether it be scheduling exercise in your calendar or prepacking healthy snacks (like fresh fruit, cut veggies, or low-fat popcorn), get ready for tomorrow.

This also applies to grocery shopping. Make a list before you go grocery shopping that includes fresh fruits and vegetables you like. Replace calorie-heavy, fatty foods like chips and cookies with baked crackers or dried fruit.

Armed with a plan and tools to help you maintain that plan, you'll have an easier time meeting your goals.

9. Be nice to yourself. When you've been good, do something nice for yourself. Reward yourself with something you enjoy (but not with food rewards, of course!). Perhaps you can enjoy a trip to a movie theatre, buy yourself a new book, or go for a foot massage.

For instance, if you walked up the stairs to work this morning, treat yourself to a bit of Internet surfing or an online game before tackling your job. If you've lost 5 pounds, reward yourself with a new haircut. Whatever you do, give yourself rewards proportional to the goals you accomplish.

10. Surround yourself with support. We all need emotional support, especially when times get tough. Find friends and family to help you. You may even be able to find a diet buddy or join a support group (like the Beachbody® Message Boards, for example). Many studies show that having a healthy social network is better for your overall health. Dieters who have friends and family pulling for them achieve better success than those who try to go it alone.

So pick up the phone, call a friend, and flex those mental muscles. Many happy thoughts to you!

The Gut Whisperer

2008-08-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

Listening to your body can help you know yourself, make decisions, solve problems, go for what's good for you and avoid what's bad. Psychotherapist Nancy Napier has a few exercises for tuning in.

A Decision-Making Guide
Choose a situation in which you're wavering between two choices. You're going to give your body a chance to help you discover the right option for you.

Sitting in a place where you won't be disturbed, take a moment to settle in and put your mind on the issue you want to explore. Then, choose one side—for example, "I want to move for my new job." Think about that and notice what happens in your gut. Do you feel a tightening, a gripping? Softening, spaciousness, warmth? Are the sensations pleasant or unpleasant? Now notice your thoughts about the move—are they generally positive or negative? Give yourself some time to feel your gut and mind responding.

Now shift to the other side of the issue—"I don't want to move for my new job." As before, notice how your gut is feeling and what kind of thoughts well up.

You may not get a definite answer at first, but if you come back to your body with the question a number of times, you'll likely develop a solid gut sense of which decision is right for you.

A Danger Radar
Your gut feelings can tell you quickly and clearly whether a person or situation is good or bad for you, but you may need some help tuning in. Remember a time when you came away from an encounter not feeling great about it, or yourself, but with no real clarity about why. Notice what happens in your body now when you think about that experience. Check in with your gut first, then your shoulders, arms, legs, and any other part of your body that calls your awareness. Are you tense or relaxed? Do you feel comfortable or uncomfortable? Take some time to let your physical sensations register, and notice what they tell you about the person or situation, and about how you were affected. For example, you might sense a knotting in your stomach, a tightening in your throat, or simply that your body isn't feeling good—and you'll notice that response when someone's saying something sarcastic to you or not following through with a promise.

There may also be times when your gut is screaming at you that something is wrong but it's actually responding to a trauma or stress in the past. That's because the present situation is acting as a trigger. The gift from the gut here is that you have an opportunity to become more aware of and resolve—an old issue that may be getting in your way today.

As you move through the day, practice being physically aware and notice how your body reacts to people and situations. If you begin to be uncomfortable when you thought everything was okay, this is important information.

You don't have to act on it right away, but you will know more about how you really feel than you did before.

Stress Detector
Your gut is a brilliant barometer of stress. This exercise is simple: Just allow your focus to settle deep within your abdomen. Is your gut quiet or active? Open or clenched? Soft or tense? Spacious or tight?

If you're tight, gripped, or clenched, you're probably dealing with some kind of stress. Ask yourself: What could I imagine right now that would help me feel better? Maybe it's visualizing walking on a beautiful beach, eating at your favorite restaurant, or relaxing at a spa. You might want to just sit still and breathe deeply for a few minutes.

Whatever comes to mind, take a few moments to let yourself go with the thought, bringing in an awareness of colors, shapes, textures, smells, temperature—all the qualities that make the experience alive for you. You'll know you've brought your stress level down when your gut becomes warm, spacious, soft, or quiet, or conveys some other comfortable sensation. As with all skills, learning to listen to—and trust—your gut may take practice, but over time you'll discover a valuable and reliable guide.

Grappling with an unresolved issue? Toss it to the wind!

2008-07-25T10:57:00.000-07:00

In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?

-Mary Manin Morrissey-

While speaking with my Mom the other day and listening to her speak about needing closure from her ex-fiance, I found myself kind of zoning off and thinking to myself "why?". Why does she need to get "why" answers from him before moving on? Why do so many of us need closure? Why do we need to feel like we have to have the final word? Or why do we obsess over whether or not we could have mended the rift?

When something ends unexpectedly-a relationship, a job-it's natural to crave an explanation, and with that, closure. I mean I get it. I really do. But I guess I look at it like if it's an unhealthy job or relationship, why would you want to be there in the first place? So I have been doing some research, because I too have been dealing with some "letting go" issues, along with reading a great book called Let Go, The Art of Spiritual Surrender by Kathy Cordova. Here are a few things I have found out.

Woman want to tie up loose ends because we have an irrational fear that letting something go means losing control.

Steal a pearl of wisdom. Often times we can't move on because we haven't yet learned what we're supposed to from a difficult situation. Evaluate your situation and see if you have gained any insight from your suffering. See if you can get a clearer sense of what you need and don't need from your inner circle.

Talk yourself out of it. Jot down all the reasons you should stop brooding, then circle the most convincing one. For example, "I need to invest this energy in people who are truly there for me." Repeat your statement to yourself if you start to stew.

Do a slow fade. When painful feelings inevitably arise, think of the emotions as a song on the radio and turn the volume down low. It's not about forcing the feelings away but acknowledging them, then shifting your focus to something more productive.

Write on. Express yourself on paper, then destroy the evidence. You will send yourself the message that you've accepted the situation. I recently did this and wrote to some family members about how bad they had hurt me with all their mean emails, words, and judgements. I never respond back to their emails so I took all my frustrations out on paper. Before I threw it away I realized that I had written "Today I am no longer hanging on to any of this. I am releasing it all and letting go. I'm starting fresh with a clean slate leaving all words and hurt to yesterday." I felt so great after I wrote that. Knowing that I had that in me to do freed me in a sense to the things I was hanging on to.

Learn to let go. Don't hang onto things that are unnecessary. It's unhealthy and it keeps us "stuck" enabling us from expanding and growing.

An AMAZING Video

2008-07-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

If you have any interest AT ALL in learning how to get the most out of your life, please watch this video. It's kind of long but so worth it.

The description below is directly from the TED site:

“Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened — as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding — she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.”

7 Tips for Living in the Moment

2008-07-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

Millions of people are learning about the benefits of living in the now. From eliminating stress to a total life transformation, it’s the key to a treasure chest of riches. The problem is it often seems impossible to implement. But like any muscle that strengthens with exercise, your ability to be present gets stronger with practice. And the result? A dramatic and rapid increase in not only your personal well-being, but your business growth too. Living in the moment helps you get the right things done faster.

Here are 7 tips that will help you start flexing your “in the moment” muscle right now:

1. Do Practice

The first step to being in the moment is to notice where your attention is. If you’re thinking about anything else other than what you’re doing right now, stop. Take a breath. Relax your shoulders. Gently redirect your attention and fully engage with what you’re doing. This is especially important when you’re in the presence of other people. There is no greater gift to offer than your full, undivided attention. And don’t beat yourself up if being present consistently is challenging at first. The trick is to simply catch when you’ve drifted off into your thoughts and bring yourself back to be fully where you’re at.

2. Don’t Think About It

One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to living in the moment is trying to “think” their way into it. Unfortunately, you can’t “think” your way into being present. It’s just something that happens when you get fully engaged in what’s happening around you. As Nike says, “Just do it!” HINT: The fastest way to pull yourself into the current moment is to bring enthusiasm and energy to whatever you’re doing right now.

3. Do Get Coaching and Support

Why re-invent the wheel? You’ll learn any new skill 100 times faster by getting a good teacher. The world’s top performers, athletes and business moguls wouldn't dream of not having people to coach them and help them grow. And while working with someone personally will get the best results, learning comes in a variety of forms. Books, audio programs, and seminars are excellent support tools while friends with a shared commitment to living in the moment can also be a source of support and learning.

4. Don’t Be the “Enlightened” Snob

This is a biggie! When people first start to get the knack of being present, they can get snookered into a mind-generated ego trip of being an “enlightened” snob. And “enlightened” snob is someone who thinks she is better than other people because of her new found awareness of the now. The funny part is that believing you are better than other people is just the egotistical mind sneaking in through the back door masquerading in a “spiritually conscious” dress! Don’t fall into this trap and remember that we’re all doing the very best we can.

5. Do Share It With Others

One of the best ways to master a skill set is to teach it to others. Even if it’s just one “live in the moment” strategy that’s worked for you, be generous and share what you’ve discovered. Most of us grossly underestimate the differences we make in the world. We discount our own expertise and assume everyone has the same knowledge that we do. So not true! What you have to say matters. Express yourself and give the gift of well-being.

6. Don’t Make It Another Belief System

Being present is not about adopting a new belief system. It’s about recognizing reality and using practical tools to access a more rich and satisfying experience of life. While there are principles that will support you in staying centered, they’re more like facts than rules. Much like being aware of gravity helps you avoid stepping off the edge of a cliff, the principles of living in the moment help you extricate yourself from stress, overwhelm and upset.

7. Do Have Fun

One of the easiest ways to strengthen your ability to live in the moment is to have more fun. After all, the middle word in enlightenment is light. One of the strategies that helps me stay centered is to have a sense of humor about everything. It's easy to get caught up in family drama, financial woes, relationship disputes, "my jeans are too tight", etc. But I’ve recognized that 99% of the stress and worry I’ve put myself through is optional. Everything always works out and whether or not I enjoy the ride is up to me.

5 Ways To Have A Perfect Day

2008-07-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be nice to have perfect days ever day?
As it turns out, it’s not as impossible as some people might think.

Here’s the secret: each day already is perfect. The trick is to become aware of what you do, or don’t do, that gets in the way of experiencing it! In fact, I’m about to share 5 powerful ways you can start having perfect days…starting right now!

1. Surrender to what is.

Having a perfect day is directly related how well you can surrender to what is. Here’s what I mean. Whatever is, already is. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a thought, sensation, feeling or external circumstance. If your printer breaks, your flight is cancelled or you feel bloated from eating too much Chinese food - if the situation already exists in this moment, what’s the use in arguing against it? There is none. Make no mistake: surrendering to what is doesn’t mean that you won’t take action when appropriate. You’ll just skip the typical “inner fight with life” meltdown that gets in the way of your perfect days.

2. Lighten up. Really.

Do you ever notice how serious you get about life? Whether it’s relationship drama, money woes or finding a parking spot, most of us contract like a sphincter the moment life shows up a bit different than we expect. And in case you haven’t noticed, life doesn’t care how you expect it to go. Really. Life does it’s own thing. And let’s not forget, we all end up the same way: dead. Not to be morbid, but since we already know the ultimate outcome, we might as well have a good time while we’re here, right? And frankly, most people I know who have a sense of lightheartedness about life are making a much bigger difference in the world than those who are seriously trying to get through it.

3. Quit complaining.

Is the weather too warm today? Or did someone not return your email fast enough? Most of us complain so frequently and automatically, we have no awareness we’re even doing it! The problem is complaining about anything is a surefire way to un-perfect your day. One important caveat: there’s a big difference between complaining and commenting. When you complain, you victimize yourself. There’s a whiny, negative energy to your communication. When you comment, however, you state an observation in a neutral way. There is no “pity party” or energetic “dig” against another person when you offer a genuine comment.

4. Be dominated.

No, not in that kind of way! :) Simply stated: Our lives make requests of us each and every day. The phone rings. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded. Taxes must be paid. You can either resist being dominated by what your life is requesting of you OR you can enthusiastically be dominated by your life! I suggest the latter. By allowing yourself to be enthusiastically dominated by what you have to do, you actually get way more done and life begins to run very smoothly too.

5. Make wherever you are the place to be.

Isn’t it wild how often our minds disagree with where we are? No matter where we find ourselves, we think we should be somewhere else. When we’re at home, we’re thinking we should be at work. When we’re at work, we’re thinking we should be at home. What if the secret to having a perfect day is to make a simple shift so that wherever you are is always the right place to be? Because after all, you can only be where you are in any given moment of now. Why not make where you are the place to be?

By using these tips to have “perfect days,” not only will you have more well-being, but your business and bottom line will grow as well.

orignial posting by Marie Forleo

Project Runway has Portland, OR Contestant

2008-07-18T00:45:00.000-07:00

How exciting! Is Portland finally going to start getting on the map for fashion? We can only hope. After going to school in London for Image Consulting and coming back to Portland to start working wasn't exactly easy. Portland is not quite there yet as far as high end fashion and a need for Image Consultants are concerned. We're getting there though. Hopefully by 2010 there will be jobs for us Image Conultants and you just might see a Marc Jacobs driving down 4th Ave or Broadway. And who knows, maybe a Season 5 Project Runway winner.

A little info about our Portland, OR girl Leanne Marshall:

education: The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandise
favorite designers: Rodarte, Maison Martin Margiela, and Zac Posen
fashion must: Plain white or gray t-shirt
bio: This Portland native first got her itch for design at the early age of 12, after designing ballet costumes. A graduate from the FIDM in San Francisco, Leanne was the recipient of the Levis/Dockers Fashion Designer of Tomorrow scholarship. Much of her designs are influenced by her five-plus years as a graphic designer and can be described as innovative, structural and sophisticated, resulting in a style that's unquestionably her own. Her feverish appetite for fashion and creation probably lent a hand in naming her line "Leanimal," currently being sold in Portland, New York, and Seattle.

The Healing Power of Pets

2008-07-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

This is a blog written by Jonny Bowden

Animals make people feel better. There's a ton of reasons for that, but we all know its true. Now science is backing up what we all know in our gut. A study in the American Journal of Cardiology found that men who had heart attacks were more likely to be alive after four years if they owned a dog (I prefer to call dog "owners" guardians, but that's just me.)

In another study, half of a group of 48 stockbrokers with hypertension (high blood pressure) were told to adopt a dog or a cat. After six months, the pet owners showed significantly lower blood pressure than the control group.

There's a dog (or cat) out there for everyone. And as I've said many times, opening your heart to someone or something does as much for you as it does for them.

In one study, nursing home residents given a plant to take care of had better medical outcomes than the group that had nothing to care for.

Caring heals- whether it's expressed through community, volunteering, contributing to charity, taking care of a plant or an animal or a person or anything else that opens your heart and moves your consciousness out to something outside yourself.

Mark Twain; a humorist, lecturer & writer 1835-1910

2008-07-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

"Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment."
~Mark Twain

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."
~Mark Twain

The Art of Living

2008-07-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

I had the amazing opportunity to go and witness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar speak last night here in Portland, OR. He is the founder of the Art of Living Foundation which aims to relieve stress at an individual level, and to relieve disease and violence at a societal level. Sri Sri Ravi is a spiritual & humanitarian leader, an Ambassador of Peace, and he travels the world teaching people Practical Wisdom For Getting the Most Out of Life.

Here are a few highlights:

*The Art of Living- Happiness and peace can only truly be experienced in the present moment, yet our mind tends to swing between regrets about the past and anxiety about the future. This is the primary cause of stress.

*The Power of the Breath- The breath is a powerful tool for releasing stress and bringing us back into balance, enabling us not only to be more skillful and successful in whatever we do, but also to enjoy each experience much more. Our breath and our emotional states are linked; for every state of mind and emotion we have, there is a specific rhythm to how we breathe. When we feel content our breath becomes slower and deeper, and when we are angry our breath is faster and more shallow.

*Your Presence Means More Than Words- This one really stood out to me. When we say "thank you" for something, we say it so quick but we often don't FEEL it. It's such an often spoken phrase that most the time we say it so fast that we don't have the time to really feel those feelings of gratitude. When you slow down your speaking to allow yourself to feel those feelings of warmth, love, & gratitude that those feelings in your presence are felt and seen more then your quickly spoken words. He also used a baby or a child as a great example of presence meaning more than words. Babies can't talk, but we don't not want to be around them because they are filled with so much happiness, warmth, and joy. And we can feel that off of them.

*A Baby smiles on average 400 times a day. An adolescent only 17. And an adult, not at all. (you can google the article)

*Health is a body free of inhibitions.

*One must be peaceful in order to speak of peace.

*Inside every culprit is a victim crying for help.

*Why is it that we always doubt honesty, never dishonesty.

*The biggest act of service someone can do is whatever their capacity is. Whether it be 3hrs or 10hrs, they both have the same value. Giving is giving.

*Religion without spirituality is nothing. Spirituality is essential.

*You know you are on the right path if you feel feelings of Compassion, Commitment, Ease, Love, & deep within you can explain your Satisfaction & Fulfillment.

*Quickest way to be Unhappy- Think "What about Me" all the time.

*Quickest way to be Happy- Be useful to the World & Society. Do some service, sponsor a child, change the violence mindset.

*God is only one, but shines through many. Just like the Sun, there is only one, but shines on many. Without them we have no light and no love.

*Faith vs. Proof- Experience first, belief follows. Spirituality is faith.

*When the body is relaxed the mind expands. Meditate & do Yoga. Yoga is the union of body, mind, & spirit.

*Learn about the body, mind, breath, ego, & our ability. You'll learn how to have a stress free society, disease free body, quiver free breath, drama free memories, jealous free love, anger free perfection, inhibition free mind, & effortless transformation.

*Celebrate Silence. Celebrate Love.

It was a wonderful event. One that I would go to again. Some final words...from today, make one resolution — that you are going to be a guiding lamp for the world, for the people around you. Wherever you go, you are going to uplift the atmosphere. If someone comes to you with complaints they should walkaway with a lighter heart, feeling more enthusiastic.

Everyday, I am going to make a conscious effort to implement this resolution:).

http://www.artofliving.org

http://www.srisri.org

The One-Box-at-a-Time Way to Reinvent Your Life

2008-07-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have been in transformation phase lately. With that comes going through everything in my home/life and getting rid of things that are no longer needed or of use. You can't be a new you without to some extent dismantling the old you right?

Definition of shedding: a process that must occur in order for growth to be achieved.

I read this great article in O magazine regarding the SHED process which was designed by Julie Morgenstern. It's a four step process that she created to help people manage their own transitions with Grace. She says that although the process isn't easy or pleasant, without it life gets stalled. Clinging to the old, the irrelevant, and stagnant holds you back. It can confine you to a space that no longer fits, denying you the opportunity to be your truest, best self. By releasing your attachment to obsolete items in your space and schedule, you gain the energy and clarity to make changes in your life, find your passion, or deal with the transition of divorce, an empty nest, or retirement. SHED is a transformative process for letting go of things that represent the past so you can grown and move forward.

SHED steps are:

*Separate the treasures. Slow down to understand the emotional attachment you have to the clutter in your life. Then identify and unearth the items and obligations that energize you and have value for the next chapter of your life.

*Heave the trash. Once you've selected the items worth saving, relinquish everything that is no longer relevant. This includes letting go of any activity or object that depletes you; the result is a significant opening of time and energy.

*Embrace your identity. Recognize that you are who you are, never mind your stuff. This is your opportunity to reconnect to your most authentic self.

*Drive yourself forward. Begin to fill your space and schedule with activities, experiences, and items related to your future goals.

The SHED system enables you to manage change consciously. Without framework, most of us stumble blindly through transitions. For example, if you think of every object or activity as a treasure and can't bring yourself to heave, you won't free any space for growth. If you value nothing from the past and always jump straight to the heave stage, you'll end up leaving some wonderful gems behind and feel empty. When you don't reconnect with your identity, it's easy to get caught up in someone else's vision of who you are. And if you're afraid to move forward, you'll stagnate in the present, limiting your ability (and opportunity) to achieve the change you want.

The four steps of SHED are designed to take you through all the phases of the transition process. They require patience and persistence, but by methodically releasing the objects and activities that represent the past, you can move toward a better future.

"Can" World's Strongest Dad

2008-07-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

This is my "go to" Inspirational Video whenever I need to put things into perspective:

Maya Angelou said this:

2008-07-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

"When the Student is ready, the Teacher will appear..."

2008-06-29T20:23:00.001-07:00

Wow what a week it's been. I'm in a transitional phase right now and it always seems like you get tested the most during those specific times. My husband and I have been fighting the most we ever have, our financial situation isn't as good as it could/should be, I feel so stressed that my already under active Thyroid seems to be slowing my metabolism down to the rate of Britney Spears's comeback, I really have no idea what my next career choice should be, and I'm starting to question who my real friends are because I just don't feel like I have their support, care, and concern, at least not in the way that I have given to them. Whew! Oh, and in addition to that, my Mom just left her fiance so I'm trying to mend the things broken in my life, and I'm trying to help her mend the broken things in hers. Oh yeah, and we decided to do a garage sale this weekend. Yes, I'm mentally, emotionally, & physically exhausted.

However, it's moments like this very one as I write this that bring about the awareness of "okay, it's time to take a step back & re-evaluate". I have to say that I'm so very grateful for my awareness because I know that this time isn't going to last forever and knowing that makes dealing with them a little easier. A really good friend of mine says that when her life seems to all start to spin out of control that she physically out loud says "okay Life, go ahead, bring it!" and it gets her motivated to take on everything with a "can do" attitude. I have to say that I tried that and I actually felt a burst of motivation and empowerment. I then kind of giggled at myself afterwards :). I know myself well enough to know that at this moment in my life, I have gotten off track, lost any sense of balance & harmony, and am officially disconnected from myself. It's time to reconnect.

I heard someone say yesterday that "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear". I LOVE that. We can try our hardest to control everything and fight against life, or we can surrender. Even typing the word surrender brings about a calm feeling for me. I know I'm not alone in this world. I know I have God to guide me and help me. I know that when I finally give up the fight and surrender that my "teacher" appears.

When I say "teacher" I'm referring to the NEW Oprah show that was on my DVR, with two of my favorite authors Louise Hay of You Can Heal Your Life and Life Coach Martha Beck, even though Oprah is shut down for the summer and has been doing nothing but running reruns for the past few weeks. Not only did my husband watch the show with me, we actually regularly pushed pause to deeply discuss the things that they were talking about. The subject was the power of positive thinking and Law of Attraction, which I was on Oprah for last Valentine's Day. It was a reminder to me about how when we focus on the negative we bring about more negative. When we focus on the positive we bring about more positive. What you put out, you get back. And the two greatest feelings we could ever feel are love & gratitude. I went to sleep with some feeling of peace.

While I was drinking coffee this morning and getting ready for another long hot day of our garage sale, I was taking notice to the aftermath of a windy evening with tree branches everywhere and the Apartment/Housing Guides & dispenser box dumped all over the sidewalk. I noticed a young homeless kid walking with a big stick that he was swinging around mid air, stop at all the magazines. After a few moments of staring, he set his things down and spent 10 minutes picking up every single Apartment Guide and placing them neatly back into their dispenser box. I found myself for those 10 minutes forgetting every single one of my "problems" and being flooded with feelings of inspiration, joy, gratitude, and peace. He had no idea I was watching him, but his random act of kindness loudly spoke to me.

Throughout our garage sale today, we had some amazing conversation's with such completely different people. All of them were based around PASSION and life. But there were three that really stood out. One man gave up being an Architect after 12 years, which is what my husband does, to follow his PASSION in music. He's been traveling from city to city searching for his music scene and a place to fulfill his desire of becoming a singer/songwriter. We were giving him praise and admiration for following his PASSION and taking that risk. He had felt a somewhat bitterness towards the Architecture world when he left his job, and I'm not sure what my husband said to him in regards to that, but whatever it was it was enlightening for him. He thanked us both and was on his way to his next city.

The next woman was an older Theatre major and she had a quirky way about her. She's originally from Portland but her husband's job had relocated them. They were up here visiting their daughter and looking at moving back up here because she wanted to get back to her PASSION of children's theatre. She had also just recently lost 100lbs which is just outstanding! I spoke with her about me going to school in London and my PASSION for wanting to help woman with low self-esteem. Her eye's started to tear up and she told us that her daughter was very overweight and that they have been fighting about that. She said that she keeps pushing to help her cause it kills her to see her this way, but her daughter just isn't ready. I told her "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear". It was like a light bulb went off for her. She teared up even more, got goose bumps, and said you're absolutely right in such a disbelief that I had just spoken the very thing she needed to hear. Then she was off to meet her husband for a movie with a big smile on her face. It was amazing to see someone experience the same aha moment upon hearing that saying as I did yesterday.

The third man, while coming to pick up some things he had just bought, overheard my husband and I speaking of all the great people, "coincidences", and conversations of the day. He asked us about it and we told him about the man and woman. Then he became inspired and spoke of his passion's just hearing us talk about other people's passion's! It was so beautiful. Come to find out, him and my husband are in a similar business field and would benefit greatly from networking with each other. They swapped info and I'm sure they will be doing business in the future together.

At the end of this long day, I feel fulfilled and uplifted. Between Oprah last night, observing the act of kindness this morning and then doing my own act of kindness, all the wonderful people and conversation's we were blessed with, I feel that my "teacher" or "teacher's" have appeared. God has opened my eye's & ear's and I saw and listened. I have my "can do" attitude, a sense of inspiration, and a renewed positive mindset. I'm grateful for these times because with every road off track you find a new path. And the higher your awareness to recognize a path you've been down before, the easier and faster it is to turn around and get back on track.

Bare Escentuals

2008-06-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

So in my search of all things beauty, fashion, health, & wellness, I have come across an exciting job opportunity for Bare Minerals. It would be as Lead Business Manager for the Nordstrom Bare Minerals counters and the Bare Minerals Boutique store. I'm not just excited about this position because it's a cosmetics company, I'm truly excited because Bare Minerals is a product I LOVE!

If you have read my past blog regarding my favorite makeup items you will see that I have Bare Minerals foundation listed as one of them. I have oily skin and had been in search of the perfect foundation until I tried Bare Minerals. And can I note that I do not like the feeling of makeup. I can't even tell you the last time I used a liquid foundation. The thought of it just gives me a feeling of ick and a yearning for my makeup remover. Let me just add too that it took me a good week of using BM (Bare Minerals) to really get the hang of it and get familiar with the loose powder and the proper application. Once I did though, I have never looked back.

With that being said, I had an over the phone interview with the Regional Manager which went very well, and I have been given an assignment to go and discreetly check out the counters and boutique stores. In doing so, I am to "report" back to the Regional Manager and share my experiences along with conducting a somewhat business plan of what I would do/not do if I was to become the Lead Business Manager.

My experience today was somewhat surprising. The boutique store was GORGEOUS, if you have not been in one go, go now, it's an actual beauty bar with everything easily accessible to try and play with. I have always gone to Sephora for my BM, but from now on you can find me at the boutique store's. In addition to that, the sales staff was very nice and extremely educated. They did not come across pushy sales-like at all, and one of the probable reason's for that is because they are not on commission. Did I end up buying something? But of course! My lovely sales girl Laura even complimented the way my jeans looked so good on my booty. Major points :).

Nordstrom's on the other hand, was very disappointing. I stood at the counter for well over 5 minutes while the 2 BM beauty ambassador's (don't you love that job title?) didn't even acknowledge me. Did they see me? Yes. They both looked at me multiple times. They were with other customers, but with my experience in customer service you always take 2 seconds to acknowledge the customer and let them know that you'll be right with them. Finally I asked one of them to pass me a jar of lip glosses, which she did. But then when I went to try one on there were no applicator testers or a mirror. So I stood there for another 5 minutes waiting for one of them to see that I wanted to try it on. Finally one of them walks over and says "oh, did you want to buy that?". No, I haven't even been able to try it on yet. Hello people. Luckily a very sweet Chanel girl saw this fiasco and came to the rescue. So thank you Chanel girl.

My conclusion. I would make an amazing Lead Business Manager for the BM company. I thrive on customer service and that seemed to be the lacking today. Add my true love and 100% belief in the product, you've got yourself a rocktar BM employee. And please everyone, if you use BM or if you never have and are intersted, find a boutique store near you and go. I promise the experience will be nothing short of amazing.

http://www.bareescentuals.com/